Author: The BPI Squirrel

Furthermore! – Predictably Absurd?

So Neils Bohr said “Predictions are very difficult, especially about the future?” Obviously he didn’t study at BPI. For example, I can predict what will happen if I have to fly somewhere. I’ll get grumpy. I can also predict what will happen if I miss breakfast. I’ll get grumpy. And I can predict what will happen if I spend too much time researching my thesis on 21st Century Political Nuttitude. I’ll get grumpy. “But Squirrel,” you may ask, “that’s not a difficult prediction. You get grumpy over just about everything.” Maybe so. Maybe some predictions are easier than others. Like this one by our own HurrikanEagle: [setmode snark==on] Obviously the reason there was a Earthquake in D.C. is because of the democratic obstruction of government, stopping the good God Loving Republicans from accomplishing their God given (corporate) duty to the American (rich) people (corporations). This was God’s latest measure to show his displeasure of the heathen Democratic Party. [setmode snark==off] Minus the snark mode setting, that’s pretty much what Pat Robertson said yesterday: Okay, Robertson didn’t crib HurrikanEagle word-for-word. But let’s look at what he did say. [Not every word is his.] Ladies and gentlemen I don’t want to get weird on this [too late!] so please take it for what it’s worth [not much]. But it seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America’s power...

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Furthermore! – They’re All In On It….

I put off procrastinating on my thesis on 21st Century Political Nuttitude to do some research. Then I remembered why I’ve been procrastinating. Conspiracy theories are a common theme in 21st Century Political Nuttitude. The conspiracy to conceal President Obama’s foreign birth apparently began with a faked birth announcement in a Honolulu newspaper in 1961. Or maybe the announcement was faked years later. Regardless, it’s a fake. So was the certificate of live birth originally published by the State of Hawaii. So was the long form released this spring by the White House. As I noted last week, Maricopa County, Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio is will not investigate the case. I’m sure he’ll get to the pink-panty-wearing bottom of it. Of course, none of that would have mattered except for the massive ACORN conspiracy that stole the 2008 election. Apparently this was so President Obama could build reeducation camps, a conspiracy famously but not exclusively argued by Minnesota Congresswoman and GOP presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann. At least President Obama finally got Osama Bin Laden. Or did he? The raid in Pakistan happened on the first day of Zombie Awareness Month, after all. That can’t be mere coincidence, can it? So when the National Science Foundation issued a report yesterday clearing meteorologist Michael Mann in the so-called ClimateGate scandal – echoing the findings of the Department of Commerce Inspector General...

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Furthermore!: So What Would Be Racist? (From the HEMMED In-tern)

Hi again. Regis P. Fluffytail IV here, filling in as the HEMMED In-tern. I’m starting to realize there’s more to this job than I imagined. I mean, I heard about my dad’s research in 21st Century Political Nuttitude. Some days it’s hard to live in the same tree and not hear about his research, especially if he skips a meal. But he gets grumpy a lot and I’ve learned not to pay attention unless I hear my name. So I don’t know much about racism. I know it’s a big issue for some humans, but like most animals we squirrels don’t worry about how much of which color fur another squirrel has. Still, even I could see race was an issue in this email: Imagine, not having to pay NJ state income taxes…It must be nice. Imagine getting a court ruling overturned so your name could get put on the ballot. Imagine having dark skin and name recognition and the nerve to think that equalled (sic) knowing something about politics. Sure, knowing someone with fat purse strings is nice, but you have no knowledge. That email was sent by Jennifer Delaney, the wife of former New Jersey Assemblyman Pat Delany, to the campaign of state senate candidate Carl Lewis. For the record, Carl Lewis is black. Also for the record, Delany was Lewis’ opponent in the race for a...

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Furthermore! – All Is Next Move

With the baby still away working as the HEMMED In-tern, I’m learning other ways to distract myself from working on my thesis in 21st Century Political Nuttitude. I’m learning to play Go, for example. It’s a fun game but very confusing for beginners. There are so many possible moves, and often no one move is clearly better than any of several others. During a game yesterday, I asked Ms. Crissie whether I had just made a good move. She replied with a quote from the sensei who taught her thirty years ago: “Good move, bad move … all is next move.” It sounded like something from a fortune cookie. Or from the news about Libya. A lot of blood has been spilled over the past six months in Libya. And a lot of pixels have been spilled as well. President Obama’s decision to support the NATO air intervention drew support and criticism, each from across the political spectrum. The same was true in Britain and France, where Prime Minister David Cameron and President Nicolas Sarkozy were praised as humanitarians trying to protect Libyan citizens who were joining the Arab Spring, and denounced as imperialists looking to exploit Libya’s oil resources. Depending on the most recent news, NATO’s air campaign was too much, or not enough. Today rebel forces took control of Tripoli. After 42 years, Muammar Gaddafi is out...

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