Author: Crissie Brown

Morning Feature: Both Sides of the Coin? (Ask Ms. Crissie)

It was busy in the BPI mail room. Pootie the Precious was hungry, and wanted her litter box cleaned. As Professor Plum was hanging around, we asked for his help. “Let’s flip for it,” he said. “Heads I win. Tails you lose.” It seems the BPI Squirrel forgot to hide the mail. (More) To be fair, the Squirrel was also busy this week. He hopes to finish part one of his thesis on 21st Century Political Nuttitude this semester, and has been rapping furiously on his Blewberry. He didn’t even take a break for the staff poker game, which offered at least some hope for the Professor of Astrology Janitor. But hope and a good hand are not the same, and despite surprisingly good play the Professor of Astrology Janitor again and again found himself holding Not Quite Enough. Exasperated, he began his plaintive mewling, and Chef scurried to the kitchen to make Silver Dollar Pancakes. That left your lowly mail room clerk to clean the litter box. It was very reminiscent of this week’s correspondence…. +++++ Dear Ms. Crissie, You liberals have no respect for history. I can’t believe you made up stories about Thanksgiving last week. Don’t you realize that Thanksgiving represents the triumph of capitalism? The Pilgrims at Plymouth Colony organized their farm economy along communal lines. The goal was to share the work and produce...

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Campus Chatter – November 28, 2010

William Shakespeare married Anne Hathaway today (1582). Also, the Royal Society was formed (1660), Louis Mayer opened his first theatre (1907), and Lady Astor was elected to Parliament (1919). And As the World Turns and The Edge of Night aired their last live episodes (1975). Greetings and social banter here. Good morning!...

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Morning Feature: Happy Thanksgiving, Part III – Black Friday (Non-Cynical Saturday)

It’s that day: the day we count receipts and packages, fingers and toes, scrapes and dents, and swear that we’ll never again go shopping on Black Friday. Unless we didn’t. Then we congratulate ourselves for our perspicacity, and check the dictionary to make sure that word means what we think it means. (More) Happy Thanksgiving, Part III – The Day After (Non-Cynical Saturday) This week Morning Feature has been thankful. Thursday we said thanks for the past year. Yesterday we said thanks for surviving another Thanksgiving. Today we say thanks for surviving another Day After Thanksgiving, the official start of the Christmas Shopping Season. By tomorrow , our jaws will ache from all those thankful smiles. In fact, we’ll be so @%#&! thankful…. A quick check with Merriam-Webster reveals that perspicacity means “acute mental vision or discernment.” So, thankfully – what else would we be this week? – we haven’t offered another hapless setup for Inigo Montoya’s second most famous line from The Princess Bride: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Unless you went shopping yesterday, in which case you might have used Montoya’s first most famous line: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Or maybe you said “Excuse me,” as if that might work on The Day After Thanksgiving. Or Black...

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Campus Chatter – November 27, 2010

Edward I called the Model Parliament today (1295). Also, 99.97% of the American Statistical Association formed (1839), the first Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade  was held (1924), and George Moscone and Harvey Milk were assassinated (1978). And Helen Clark became New Zealand’s first elected female prime minister (1999). Greetings and social banter here. Good morning!...

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Morning Feature: Happy Thanksgiving, Part II – Holiday Survival

Thanksgiving is a happy holiday at Casa Crissie. We gather in the kitchen to cook and talk. Then we move to the dining room to eat and talk. Then to the kitchen to do dishes and talk. Then to the living room to watch football and talk. Or snore. (More) Happy Thanksgiving, Part II – Holiday Survival This week Morning Feature will be thankful. Yesterday we said thanks for the past year. Today we say thanks for surviving another Thanksgiving. Saturday we’ll say thanks for surviving another Day After Thanksgiving, the official start of the Christmas Shopping Season. By Sunday, our jaws will ache from all those thankful smiles. In fact, we’ll be so @%#&! thankful…. Thanksgiving is a relaxed day at Casa Crissie. Yes, we always forget something, but we don’t fret it. We’ll just bake those crescent rolls today, to enjoy with leftover turkey and gravy and stuffing and mashed potatoes and green bean casserole and stuffed celery and chocolate silk pie and … see why we didn’t fret about the rolls? Plus the Patriots won. Sadly, so did the Saints. Sadly, because that keeps them ahead of the Buccaneers in the NFC South. But at least the Cowboys lost, again. The Bengals also lost, again. As did my old high school, again. Some traditions remain. A Thanksgiving tradition: Unlike every other family in America, whose holidays...

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