“There was no trial before the investigation!” Professor Plum said as he walked into the mail room. “It’s tyranny!”

He read the mail…. (More)

Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Janitor Professor of Astrology lamented the lack of betting before a hand is dealt. The Squirrel tapped at his Blewberry: “Isn’t that what blinds and antes are?”

“Oh, right,” the Janitor Professor of Astrology said. “In that case, ignore me.”

Chef chuckled and went to the kitchen to make Arizona Breakfast Burritos, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

Dear Ms. Crissie,

I just learned there were NO FISA HEARINGS before they issued a warrant to spy on my campaign! There is CORRUPTION at the FBI and DOJ and FAKE NEWS WITCH HUNT MAGA FO-O-O-ORE!

The President of the United States, Chief Executive, Commander in Chief, and Leader of the Free World

Dear God-King,

Oh dear. We knew this weekend would be hard for you. As Presidents Bush and Obama gave eulogies at the funeral of Sen. John McCain – a gathering that Esquire columnist Charles Pierce described as “a council of war” – your supporters called McCain’s daughter Meghan “trashy” and “a nasty little bitch” for daring to say “America was always great.” We understand why you lashed out on Twitter and then went golfing. How dare Americans pay homage to anyone but you?

Your bruised ego aside, and we concede that is like setting aside a black hole, we note that the FISA court does not routinely hold hearings before issuing surveillance warrants. Rule 17 of the FISC Rules of Procedure authorizes the duty judge to call an ex parte hearing to review an affidavit, and Rule 45 authorizes a hearing en banc “only if it is necessary to secure or maintain uniformity of the Court’s decisions, or the proceeding involves a question of exceptional importance.” But those are not the court’s standard procedures.

Instead, as in any court, the FISC procedure is for the duty judge to read the affidavits submitted by law enforcement agents and decide whether the facts alleged in the affidavit constitute probable cause for a surveillance warrant. That is the Fourth Amendment standard for a warrant. We conclude that, contrary to your fantasy version of the Constitution, you are not entitled to a hearing before an investigation can begin.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Is Chef making Arizona Breakfast Burritos to honor Sen. McCain? Also, do they have macadamias?

Honored for Breakfast in Blogistan

Dear Squirrel,

Chef is indeed making Arizona Breakfast Burritos to honor Sen. McCain. Alas, the recipe at the link below does not include macadamias. But she put out an extra bowl for you. Bon appétit!

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Image Credits — Donald Trump Photo: Jonathan Ernst (Reuters); Transform: Crissie Brown (BPICampus.com)

God-King; President Bush eulogy for McCain; President Obama eulogy for McCain; “a council of war”; God-King supporters attack Meghan McCain; FISC Rules of Procedure.

Arizona Breakfast Burritos.

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Happy Sunday!