“Why didn’t you stop me from overeating at breakfast?” Professor Plum asked Ms. Scarlet as he walked into the mail room.
He read the mail…. (More)
Ms. Scarlet winked. “Chef hasn’t put out breakfast yet, dear.”
They then left together to join the resident faculty in the
wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).
In the staff poker game, the
Professor of Astrology Janitor wondered why someone hadn’t stopped him from over-playing a pair of black Tens. Chef opened with a raise and the Squirrel folded, but the Professor of Astrology Janitor re-raised. Chef shrugged and called.
The flop brought the Ace and Six of Hearts and the Ten of Diamonds. The
Professor of Astrology Janitor put in a half-pot-sized bet, and Chef promptly called. The Three of Clubs on the turn didn’t seem to change anything, so once again the Professor of Astrology Janitor put in a half-pot-sized bet. But then Chef announced a pot-sized raise.
Surely Chef hadn’t called his pre-flop reraise with only a pair of Threes. She might have raised and then called his re-raise with a pair of Sixes, giving her three Sixes versus his three Tens. More worryingly, she might have played a pair of Aces the same way, and have three Aces to his three Tens. Or was she semi-bluffing with a Heart flush draw?
A re-raise would put the
Professor of Astrology Janitor all-in and even a call would leave him pot-committed. If a Heart fell on the river and Chef bet, the pot odds would demand a call even if the Professor of Astrology Janitor were fairly confident that he was beaten. And he might be beaten already.
“I wish someone had stopped me from overplaying these,” he said as he tossed his Tens in the muck.
Chef smiled and flashed a pair of black Aces. “Well, I did save you from losing more at the river.”
Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make a Full English Breakfast, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….
Dear Ms. Crissie
The stories you heard about the 12 Russians yesterday took place during the Obama Administration, not the Trump Administration. Why didn’t they do something about it, especially when it was reported that President Obama was informed by the FBI in September, before the Election?
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 14, 2018
The President of the United States, Chief Executive, Commander-in-Chief, and Leader of the Free World
We wish we could commend your deflection skills, but this is too childishly transparent. We note that President Obama attempted multiple steps to block and expose Russia’s cyberattack on our election, as detailed in a June 2017 Washington Post article, including:
- August 4, 2016 – CIA Director James Brennan calls FSB chief Alexander Bortinov, informs him that U.S. knows Russia hacked the Podesta and DNC emails and is engaging in cyberwarfare to influence the election.
- August-to-early-September, 2016 – Individual calls and meetings to brief the majority and minority leaders of the Senate and House, and the chairs and ranking members of the Senate and House Intelligence Committees. Senate and House Republicans dismiss the warnings.
- >August 15, 2016 – DHS Sec. Jeh Johnson holds a conference call with state elections officials, warning of the danger. Republican state officials dismiss the warnings.
- September 4, 2016 – President Obama confronts Vladimir Putin in China, saying “we knew what he was doing and [he] better stop or else.”
- Early September, 2016 – White House hosts meeting of 12 key Senate and House members, including both parties’ leaders, to review the intelligence. Democrats want to go public. Republicans dismiss the warnings, accuse President Obama of partisanship.
- October 7, 2016 – DHS Sec. Johnson, Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, and FBI Director James Comey issue a joint statement on Russia’s “active measures” to influence the election. The media ignore it to focus on the newly-released Access Hollywood tape, and Republicans dismiss the warnings.
- October 7, 2016 – National Security Advisor Susan Rice gives Russian Ambassador Sergei Kislyak a message to Putin saying the U.S. knows about Russian cyberwarfare and threatening sanctions.
- December 9, 2016 – President Obama orders a comprehensive review of Russian interference in U.S. elections back to 2008.
- December 29, 2016 – President Obama announces sanctions against Russia and expels 35 Russian diplomats.
Meanwhile, you claimed the hacking might have been done by an 800-pound man in his parent’s basement, asked Russia to hack Hillary Clinton’s email server – which they began attempting four hours later – and mentioned the stolen documents released through WikiLeaks 176 times in October alone.
Since your apotheosis, you have repeated those lies, fired FBI Director Comey in an attempt to shut down the investigation ordered by President Obama, and continue to undermine that investigation on a near-daily basis.
We conclude that, rather than blaming President Obama, you should blame yourself — and the countless Republicans who pretended and still pretend not to know that Russian intelligence attacked our nation — because that Russian attack favored your and your party’s political interests.
Dear Ms. Crissie,
My ancestors come from Britain, so what is a Full English Breakfast?
Tally-Ho for Breakfast in Blogistan
Chef uses the recipe at the link below. Bon appétit!
Image Credit — Photo: Saul Loeb (AFP); Michael Vadon (Flickr); Illustration: Crissie Brown (BPICampus.com)