“Umm, are we still here?” Professor Plum asked as he walked into the mail room.
He read the mail…. (More)
“Yes, dear,” Ms. Scarlet replied. “Didn’t you hear the bing-ding-a-ling of Ms. Crissie’s phone?”
“I thought that was the breakfast bell,” the Squirrel texted.
Chef chuckled and held a bowl of macadamias up to her shoulder. “Here ya go, Regis.”
“I feel like I’m still here,” the
Professor of Astrology Janitor said. “Both of me.”
Your lowly mail room clerk sighed. “Yes, we’re still here. But the Squirrel was locked out of Twitter for awhile earlier.”
“What did you do?” Ms. Scarlet asked.
The Squirrel tapped at his Blewberry. “Nothing. I replied in a thread about conspiracy theories. Someone said New Coke was a conspiracy to boost the audience for Classic Coke. I cited a Vox story about the science of sweetness and why Coke’s 200,000 taste tests showed New Coke would be better … but the taste tests were wrong. People prefer sweeter tastes in small quantities, but less-sweet tastes for regular consumption. And then Twitter blocked me! They said to read the Twitter Rules, but they didn’t say which rule I broke.”
“You didn’t break any rules,” we explained. “Twitter has a campaign to shut down fake accounts, and they mistook you for a bot. We had to verify the account with Captcha and then give them our phone number and get a verification text and type the number in, all to tell them we’re a real account with real people.”
“Umm, I’m a fictional character,” Professor Plum said.
“Me, too,” Ms. Scarlet added.
Chef and the
Professor of Astrology Janitor agreed, then looked at the Squirrel. He tapped at his Blewberry: “I won’t admit to that.”
Your lowly mail room clerk scritchied behind his tufted ears. “We understand. The point is, we survived the Twitter Cleanup Campaign. We’re fine now.”
The Squirrel held a macadamia in his mouth as he tapped at his Blewberry. “So what is everyone else having for breakfast.”
We looked at his nut bowl. His eyes went wide as he tail-flagged.
Chef chuckled. “I’ll bring out another bowl.”
Image Credit: Crissie Brown (BPICampus.com)