“Being a fictional character at a nonexistent university is not luck,” Professor Plum said as he walked into the mail room. “It’s mindfulness.”

He read the mail…. (More)

Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor had another word for it: strategy. He had opened by raising with the Ace and Jack of Clubs. Chef folded but the Squirrel called. The flop brought the Queen and Seven of Clubs and the Jack of Hearts, giving the Professor of Astrology Janitor a pair of Jacks and a Club flush draw, so he put in a half-pot-sized bet after the Squirrel checked. The Squirrel responded with a pot-sized raise.

Did the Squirrel have a pair of Sevens for three-of-a-kind? Queen-Jack for two pair? Would he check-raise with anything less?

The Professor of Astrology Janitor doubted it was an outright bluff and he was pretty confident the Squirrel had at least two pair. Still, the Professor of Astrology Janitor had 12 outs with two cards to come, so he was almost a coin-flip against Queen-Jack and slightly better than a 2:1 underdog to three Sevens. He decided to swing for the fences and add fold equity to his draw odds, announcing: “I’m all-in.”

The Squirrel chittered and tapped at his Blewberry. “I’m almost sure I’m ahead right now.”

The Professor of Astrology Janitor studied a speck of dust on the felt tabletop, trying to give nothing away.

Finally the Squirrel huffed, pushed his cards into the muck, and texted: “If it means that much to you….”

“Lemme guess,” Chef said as she scooped in the cards and began to shuffle, “pocket Sevens against two Clubs?”

The Squirrel tapped at his Blewberry. “How does she do that?”

The Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make Puerto Rican Tostones, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Alexandria in NYC

Dear Alexandria,

First and foremost, we congratulate you on your well-earned victory in this week’s Democratic primary. As you noted in another tweet, you won voters of all kinds, in no small part because you knocked on so many doors that you literally wore through the soles of your shoes.

Second, we completely agree that Democratic candidates in safe districts should swing for the fences in advocating policies to help hardworking families.

The criticism that you may hurt ‘moderate’ Democrats in swing districts is based on the premise that Len Lunchbox of Purplesburg, Ohio might have voted for his local ‘moderate’ Democratic candidate … but instead he’ll vote for a MAGA-yelling Trumpist with a platform of racist misogyny and xenophobia … because you will represent voters in New York City. The subtext of that criticism is that every Democrat in America should tailor their campaigns for Len … and no one should try to represent voters in New York City, or indeed any voters other than Len.

The result of that strategy would be to let Len – or more accurately, conservatives’ portrayals of Len – define the left-most boundary of our political dialogue. As one wag put it: “Conservatives want both parties to campaign as Republicans.”

Again, we congratulate you on your victory and your commitment to be a voice for the hardworking voters of your district.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

What are Puerto Rican Tostones, how does Chef make them, and can squirrels eat them?

Breakfast for a Friend in Blogistan

Dear Squirrel,

Tostones are crispy fried plantains. The recipe Chef uses is at the link below. Plantains are also known as “cooking bananas” and, when still green, they are firm enough to fry well and have a potato-like flavor. And Chef said she’s making some with no added salt, so they’re squirrel-friendly. Bon appétit!

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Photo Credit: Mark Lennham (AP); Transform: Crissie Brown (BPICampus.com)

Alexandria in NYC; literally wore through the soles of her shoes.

Puerto Rican Tostones.

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Happy Sunday!