“I drained the restroom,” Professor Plum said as he walked into the mail room, “but I knew nothing about it.”

He read the mail…. (More)

Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor knew nothing about his hand. He was in the big blind and both Chef and the Squirrel had called, so he checked without looking at his cards.

After the Queen of Hearts, Nine of Clubs, and Four of Spades fell on the flop, and after the Squirrel checked, the Professor of Astrology Janitor peeked at his cards and found the Nine of Spades and Four of Diamonds. He debated whether to bet, as both Chef and the Squirrel would know the flop must have hit his hand. But he couldn’t afford to slow play bottom two pair, so he put in a half-pot-sized bet. Chef called and the Squirrel called behind.

The Eight of Spades on the turn gave a Queen-high straight if anyone held Jack-Ten, so the Professor of Astrology Janitor couldn’t afford to bet again. He checked behind the Squirrel, and Chef checked as well.

The Six of Diamonds on the river didn’t seem to change anything, so again the Professor of Astrology Janitor checked behind the Squirrel. Chef put in the minimum bet. The Squirrel twitched his tail and put in a minimum raise.

Clearly someone had something. Chef’s bet was too small to be a bluff, and the Squirrel’s tiny raise also seemed to want a call. The Professor of Astrology Janitor was pretty sure his two pair weren’t good so he folded. And he felt even more confident about his decision when Chef put in a pot-sized raise.

The Squirrel pushed his cards into the muck and tapped at his Blewberry. “Your nothing is probably better than my nothing.”

“My nothing was at least something,” Chef said, flashing the Ace and Queen of Diamonds, for a pair of Queens.

The Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make Chicken Salad Omelets, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….


Dear Ms. Crissie,

I am quite certain he didn’t the president had no idea about his lawyer’s influence peddling. He knew nothing about it. I haven’t talked to him in detail except for the first day it came out. When it first came out, he was surprised. Whatever lobbying was done didn’t reach the president. He did drain the swamp. The president wasn’t aware that Cohen had gotten money for it. Wasn’t aware of any of the situations in which he got money. He has never lobbied the president ever on the AT&T merger or anything else.

As for meeting with special counsel Robert Mueller, they are basically tied up trying to answer Judge Ellis for the last week who has said do you or don’t you have authority. I don’t see how in any way he could sit down with Mueller before the summit meeting with North Korea. We couldn’t prepare him for it. He just wouldn’t have the time to do it.

Rudy in NY

Dear Rudy,

We commend your blind loyalty to the God-King. We also note that, if your excuse were true, it would gut the God-King’s claim of attorney-client privilege … as your excuse implies Cohen was selling the substance of private conversations with the God-King. As a matter of logic, it’s more than a bit tricky to argue that your lawyer can sell those conversations to companies who want advance knowledge of the God-King’s intentions, but he can’t answer a subpoena because “privilege!”

Put simply, your excuse amounts to: “He drained the swamp by remaining ignorant about his own lawyer’s corruption.”

We also note that Judge Ellis’ pending decision would have absolutely no bearing on meeting with Robert Mueller, as Judge Ellis has not questioned or even been asked to consider whether Mueller has the authority to investigate the God-King. That motion to dismiss is about Paul Manafort’s indictment for unregistered lobbying on behalf of Russian-backed Ukrainians. Indeed the entire premise of that motion to dismiss is that the acts in question have nothing to do with Mueller’s mandate to investigate Russian meddling in the 2016 election, whether the God-King or members of his campaign participated in that meddling, and whether he obstructed justice in firing James Comey to shut down the FBI investigation of that meddling. Even if Judge Ellis ruled that Manafort indictment was beyond the scope of Mueller’s mandate, the investigation of the God-King would still be well within that mandate.

We conclude this is yet another variation of “I’ll release my income tax returns when the IRS finish their audit.” That is to say, the God-King does not intend to answer Mueller’s questions … ever.


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Chicken Salad Omelets sound yummy. How does Chef make them?

Yumming for Breakfast in Blogistan

Dear Squirrel,

Chef makes her chicken salad by stripping the meat from a leftover roast or rotisserie chicken and cutting it into cubes, then mixing it with diced celery, diced onion, and minced garlic. She then stirs in her chicken rub aioli, made with mayonnaise and a sprinkling of crushed black pepper, paprika, parsley, rosemary, sage, thyme, and lemon zest. As a general rule, she keeps the chicken salad in the fridge. But for her Chicken Salad Omelets, Chef scoops out a cup of salad for each serving and warms it to room temperature in the microwave, then carefully spreads it onto the eggs once they begin to set up. She then folds the omelet and lets it cook for another minute or two, until the eggs are set. Bon appétit!


Photo Credit: Brooks Kraft (Politico)

Rudy in NY; “when it first came out, he was surprised;” “wasn’t aware of any situations in which he got money;” Judge Ellis has not questioned or even been asked to consider whether Mueller has the authority to investigate the God-King.


Happy Sunday!