“Great news!” Professor Plum said as he entered the mail room. “Or not.”

He read the mail…. (More)

Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet for a 7-day, 10-night cruise to Lumbago. We hope they have a great time.

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor was on a roll, with big pairs holding up, small pairs turning into three- or four-of-a-kind, and suited connectors consistently making straights or flushes. So he did not hesitate to raise with the King and Queen of Spades. Chef raised, the Squirrel called, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor called behind.

The flop brought the Ace, Jack, and Ten of Spades. Chef moved all-in, the Squirrel called, and of course the Professor of Astrology Janitor called as well. He proudly announced “Royal flush!” as he turned over his cards.

“Umm…” Chef began, and also turned over the King and Queen of Spades.

The Squirrel also had the King and Queen of Spades, and he tapped at his Blewberry: “Yeah … huh?”

We didn’t know Pootie the Precious could giggle.

They went to the kitchen to finish dying Easter Eggs, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….


Dear Ms. Crissie,


The former President of the United States, Chief Executive, Commander-in-Chief, and Leader of the Free World

Dear Squirrel,

Yes, April Fool!

We might have believed it, but tweeterino intentionally omits some details of the Twitter interface. Still, we wish….


Dear Ms. Crissie,

What colors do you want on your Easter Eggs? Chef says we have Toilet Seat Gold, Spanked With a Magazine Crimson, and I Belong on Mount Rushmore Granite. Oh, plus Deep State Blue, she says.

Wishing for Squirrel Red in Blogistan

Dear Squirrel,

We think Deep State Blue would be lovely, trimmed with Mueller’s Legal Pad Yellow, if Chef has that.


Photo Credit: Associated Press

Fake tweet created at tweeterino.com


Happy Sunday!