“In other news,” Professor Plum said as he walked into the mail room, “water is wet.”

He read the mail…. (More)

Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar mail room, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor was also a master of the obvious. After the Squirrel opened with a pot-sized raise and Chef called, the Professor of Astrology Janitor looked at his cards: the Eight of Clubs and Three of Diamonds. Not quite the worst possible starting hand, but very close, so he sensibly folded.

The flop brought the Eight of Diamonds, Eight of Spades, and Three of Hearts. The Squirrel offered a small bet and Chef called. The Jack of Hearts fell on the turn, and this time the Squirrel checked. Chef put in a pot-sized bet and, after a brief pause, the Squirrel called. The Four of Clubs on the river didn’t seem to change anything. Once again the Squirrel checked. Chef took a moment to think, and checked behind.

“Pocket Tens,” Chef said.

The Squirrel turned over his pocket Kings and tapped at his Blewberry. “I hoped you didn’t have Jacks.”

Chef tapped the table. “Very nice hand, Regis.”

The Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make a Simple Sausage Casserole, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

In my Netflix interview with David Letterman, I said: “If you watch Fox News, you are living on a different planet than you are if you, you know, listen to NPR.”

Instead of admitting that different news sources give very different outlooks on the world, conservative pundits said I “took a shot at Fox News viewers” and “lashed out and denounced Americans who choose to get their news from Fox News.”

Is it odd that no liberal pundits said I “took a shot at” or “denounced” people who listen to NPR?

Barack in D.C.

Dear Mr. President,

We agree with your observation that we no longer have a “common baseline of facts” to form a basis for public policy. We also agree that, by and large, conservatives and liberals “are living on a different planet.” Although you didn’t say so in that interview, we think one of those planets is grounded fact-based reporting, and an inclusive view of humanity, while another is grounded in conspiracy theories and a grievance-based view of humanity. We think it’s likely that pundits of all stripes know which planet you live on, and that’s why conservatives dialed up their umbrage meters.

We also suggests this reveals yet another double-standard: you and other liberals are ‘guilty’ of saying whatever conservatives think you believe – regardless of your actual words – while Republicans and other conservatives are forever “taken out of context” and “misunderstood” even when they explicitly spew bullshit.

In summary, we conclude that water is still wet.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

I guess someone has to state the obvious. So, is Chef’s Simple Sausage Casserole really simple or is that just its name?

Obviously Hungry in Blogistan

Dear Squirrel,

Chef’s Simple Sausage Casserole is indeed simple. It uses only three ingredients – 1 pound of pork sausage, 8 ounces of softened cream cheese, and 2 8-ounce cans of refrigerated crescent rolls – and has only three steps. First, preheat an oven to 350º and lightly grease an 11×9 baking pan. Second, fry the sausage in a skillet over medium heat until it’s crumbly and begins to brown, then drain the skillet and stir in the cream cheese. Third, spread the dough from one can of crescent rolls in the bottom of the baking dish, without separating, and bake for five minutes. Then cover with the sausage and cream cheese, spread the dough from the other can of crescent rolls on top, and bake for another 8 minutes, until the top layer is golden brown —

Dear Ms. Crissie,

That’s actually ten steps, but the recipe clumps them into three.

Just Sayin’ in Blogistan

Dear Squirrel,

You are correct, of course. Even so, it’s still a simple recipe, both in title and in content. Bon appétit!

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Photo Credit: People

Barack in D.C.; “took a shot at Fox News viewers”; “lashed out and denounced Americans who choose to get their news from Fox News”.

Simple Sausage Casserole.

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Happy Sunday!