“I thought we wouldn’t have a tree this year,” Professor Plum said as he entered the mail room, “but I guess everybody lies.”

He read the mail. (More)

Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

There was no staff poker game, as the staff had been busy putting up the tree. The Squirrel had insisted on a Scotch Pine, to honor his family roots. The Professor of Astrology Janitor and Chef went out looking for a live one but Scotch Pines are hard to find in South Blogistan. Ms. Scarlet found a very nice artificial tree, a seven-footer that even had a bark texture on the trunk and branches. So the staff set it up and strung 500 little teal lights. We had just finished those when Professor Plum came in and reminded us about the mail.

The Squirrel sighed, looked at his Blewberry, nibbled a macadamia from his bowl, and sighed again. The Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make Orange Pecan Baked French Toast, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

I guess this is their defense:

Brian in NY

Dear Brian,

We thank both you and Gloria Borger for your reporting. That said, knowingly lying to the FBI is a felony, and “everybody does it” is not a defense. What’s more, not everybody lies in D.C., and especially not to the FBI. And finally … Sigh. Just. Sigh.

We think we’ll go back to decorating our office tree.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

The lights aren’t twinkling. Also, could we put a drey in that tree?

Twinkling for Breakfast in Blogistan

Dear Squirrel,

Those lights aren’t supposed to twinkle. Also, the tree’s trunk is hollow. But the Professor of Astrology Janitor is pretty handy with woodworking and he could probably build a drey to fit in that tree, if you asked nicely. You and your family would need to be careful with the wires and ornaments, though.

Dear Ms. Crissie,

Hrmm. I’ll think about it and talk with Mrs. Squirrel and the kids. If they’re interested, I’ll ask the Professor of Astrology Janitor and we’ll discuss dimensions and stuff. Oh, I almost forgot. Can Chef set aside some pecans from that Orange Pecan French Toast, and how does she make it?

Still Twinkling for Breakfast in Blogistan

Dear Squirrel,

Chef uses the recipe at AllRecipes.com, below. And yes, she’ll set aside some pecans for you and the family. Bon appétit!

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Image Credit: Crissie Brown (BPICampus.com)

Brian in NY.

Orange Pecan Baked French Toast.

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Happy Sunday!