“Nazis are people too,” Professor Plum wailed as he entered the mail room.

He read the mail…. (More)

Professor Plum rolled his eyes, shook his head, and left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor tried to make sense of a baffling situation. Chef opened with a raise and the Squirrel called. With 5:1 pot odds in the big blind, the Professor of Astrology Janitor called with the Queen and Four of Clubs.

The flop brought the Queen of Spades, Seven of Diamonds, and Four of Spades, giving the Professor of Astrology Janitor a surprising and lucky two pair. The Squirrel checked and the Professor of Astrology Janitor checked behind, hoping Chef would follow through with a bet so he could put in a big raise. Instead she also checked.

The Eight of Spades on the turn was a scary card. Again both the Squirrel and the Professor of Astrology Janitor checked. This time Chef put in a minimum bet. The Squirrel thought briefly and called, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor began to ponder.

If the Squirrel or Chef had two Spades in-hand, the turn had made a flush. If one of them had Six-Five, the turn had made an Eight-high straight. With a minimum bet and call, it seemed likely that at least one of them had one or the other. Yet he was getting 9:1 pot odds to call, with four outs – the remaining Queens and Fours – to make a full house. The pot odds weren’t quite good enough, as his odds of the full house were about 11:1 against. But if he hit, there was a good chance that at least one of them would call a bet at the river. That added implied odds to the calculation, so he called.

The Four of Diamonds fell on the river, making his full house. Again the Squirrel checked. The Professor of Astrology Janitor could not afford to check, as Chef might well check behind with a straight or flush against a potential full house. So he put in a half-pot-sized bet … and Chef replied with a pot-sized raise.

The Squirrel quickly folded and the Professor of Astrology Janitor pondered anew. One hand could beat him: the two red Queens. Normally he wouldn’t hesitate to call with a full house with only two exact cards that beat him. But looking back, he realized Chef might play Queens exactly as she’d played the pot: raising pre-flop with a big pair, checking the flop with three Queens, a cautious turn bet against a possible straight or flush, and a big river raise with Queens-full.

To be bluffing, she would have to have planned it over three betting rounds. That seemed as unlikely as her having the one hand that beat him. It was a fifty-fifty situation – the very unlikely red Queens, or an equally unlikely bluff – with the pot giving 2:1. He had to call.

“Flush?” Chef asked as she turned over her red Queens.

“Worse,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said, flashing his cards.

“I folded the flush,” the Squirrel texted. “I knew someone had a full house, but I never imagined two of you did.”

The Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make New Mexico-style Smothered Breakfast Burritos, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Captain Red Skeleton in Twitterstan

Dear Twittiot,

We hardly know where to begin. First, the God-King was not the first politician to promise he would “make” a country “great again.” Adolf Hitler promised to machen Deutschland wieder groß (“make Germany great again”) and Philippine despot Ferdinand Marcos, British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, and President Ronald Reagan campaigned on the same theme. Second, the Wolfenstein video games have, for 20 years, been about fighting Nazis. The designers always planned the story arc to include an episode set in the U.S. and they began work on the current game – where the Nazis have conquered America – long before the God-King was elected.

Yes, Nazis are now marching in American streets, and they did again last night in Charlottesville.

But the game’s designers say they will not back away from their theme:

Wolfenstein has been a decidedly anti-Nazi series since the first release more than 20 years ago. We aren’t going to shy away from what the game is about. We don’t feel it’s a reach for us to say Nazis are bad and un-American, and we’re not worried about being on the right side of history here.

“[In the game] freeing America is the first step to freeing the world. So the idea of #NoMoreNazis in America is, in fact, what the entire game [and franchise] is about. Our campaign leans into that sentiment, and it unfortunately happens to highlight current events in the real world.

We conclude that, if you are offended by a game because it demonizes Nazis … you probably are a Nazi.


Dear Ms. Crissie,

What do New Mexico-style Smothered Breakfast Burritos have to do with fighting Nazis in America? Do the game characters eat them? Also, how does Chef make them?

Curiously Hungry in Blogistan

Dear Squirrel,

Chef notes that the new Wolfenstein game’s primary set is Roswell, New Mexico, shown in the image above. Chef doesn’t play video games, so she has no idea if the Wolfenstein designers included this signature New Mexico breakfast dish. But it fits the day’s theme, so that’s what she made. You can find the recipe she used at the link below.


Image Credit: Machine Games/Bethesda Softworks

Captain Red Skeleton; God-King not the first to promise he would “make” a country “great again”; the designers always planned the story arc to include an episode set in the U.S.; they did again last night in Charlottesville; “We’re not worried about being on the right side of history here”.

New Mexico-style Smothered Breakfast Burritos.


Happy Sunday!