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This week Ohio authorities released a description of a burglary suspect who nibbled on the best-in-show at a baked goods exhibit at the county fair: masked face, soft fur, four legs (a raccoon) and a California man found a naked female burglar asleep in his bed (neither a raccoon nor the setup for a steamy scene in an adult movie). Also, citizens of Pilot Rock, OR want help with their wild turkeys (no raccoons, burglars, or steamy adult scenes mentioned, and no Thanksgiving either) and an Indiana farmer planted an ode to Carrie Fisher (no raccoons, burglars, or Thanksgiving, but she did have a steamy adult scene in The Man With One Red Shoe). And a panicked husband brought his pregnant wife to a New Jersey police station, where two cops helped her deliver a baby girl (with no assistance from raccoons, but perhaps witnessed by burglars and/or Carrie Fisher fans, and the child may have been conceived in a steamy adult scene near Thanksgiving). Do raccoon burglars watch Carrie Fisher movies to set a steamy mood to make baby raccoons?


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