So, um, why is “the heartland” the heartland? (More)

This is our great nation: eggheads on the coasts, old people in Florida, Saint Sarah of Wasilla in Alaska, Kenya in Hawaii and … of course … “the heartland.”

Or at least that’s how some people see it. I prefer this Heart of America:

Heart of America

But setting that inclusive image aside, why is the middle of the U.S. “the heartland?”

It can’t pump oxygenated blood to the rest of the U.S., because our nation has no “lung land.” In fact, our nation seems to have only three body parts — two spines (the Rockies and Appalachians) and a heart. Well, and Florida kinda looks like our great nation needs Viagra.

I’ve heard people claim it’s “the heartland” because it’s in the center of the U.S. But the heart isn’t in the center of the body. If this is about organs nearest the center of the body, middle America should be “the intestine land.” Just sayin’….

I’ve heard others claim it’s “the heartland” because the people there are “the heart and soul of America.” But they’re also “the salt of the earth,” so shouldn’t their home be “the tongue land” or “the stomach land?”

Anyway, I had a point way back there. Hold on….

Back. Yes, today is The Great American Eclipse and that eclipse will be most total in … “the heartland.”

Yeah, you knew this was coming:

That video is really busy today – duh! – so if you have trouble streaming it, here’s an easy-to-follow flowchart:

Total Eclipse of the Heart Flowchart

Remember your sunglasses!


Image Credits — U.S. Map: MapsUSABlank; Heart: PNGmart; Egghead Emoji: Pinterest; Elderly Emoji: Pixabay; Kenya Map:; Caribou Barbie: Uncyclopedia; Composition: Crissie Brown (

Heart of America: beauchamping (Etsy)

Total Eclipse of the Heart Flowchart: Jeannie r (Tumblr)


Good day and good nuts