If only the Fizzix Department could make that time machine work…. (More)

Okay, the cavemen in that photo aren’t Ug and Morug. They’re Sticks and Rocky, from the Australian TV series Soul Mates. I wanted to take photos of Ug and Morug, but they were camera shy. Also, the BPI Fizzix Department still doesn’t have that time machine working, so much of my interview is, in Hollywood terms, “Based on a True Story.”

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Squirrel@BPI: Hi guys. Thanks for letting me interview you.

Ug@WayLongAgo: Ug.

Squirrel@BPI: Well yes, CNN did fire Jeffrey Lord for that “Sieg Heil!” tweet. He claims he was merely mocking the “fascists” at Media Matters, who are apparently “fascists” because they’re organizing a boycott of Sean Hannity’s advertisers. You know, like Hitler organized boycotts of Jewish-owned businesses. Except Hitler sent his brownshirts out to smash windows and beat up people. But really, there’s no difference between smashing windows and beating people up – and, eventually, herding them into death camps – and boycotting the advertisers of a TV and radio personality. Both express disapproval, so both are “fascism.” In fact, if you say “Squirrel, that equivalence is beyond ridiculous,” then that also expresses disapproval and you’re a fascist too. Don’t you agree, Morug?

Morug@WayLongAgo: Morug.

Squirrel@BPI: Yes, I saw that the God-King doubled down on “fire and fury” comment, saying: “Maybe it wasn’t tough enough.” Because North Korea has been “doing this to our country for a long time.” He didn’t specify what “this” was being done “to our country” by North Korea. But whatever “this” is, he’s very upset about it and he thinks “it’s about time that somebody stuck up for the people of this country and for the people of other countries.” So we need to nuke ’em, because “this.”

Ug@WayLongAgo: Ug.

Squirrel@BPI: Actually, what Thomas McInerney said was true. If we incinerate North Korea, “most” of the people killed “will be North Koreans.” Oh sure, we couldn’t get all of Kim Jong Un’s weapons in a first strike, so he would launch at least a few hundred missiles at Seoul and Japan and Guam and whatever other targets he had registered. So some South Koreans and Japanese and Guamanians would die too. Plus U.S. troops and business people and other foreign nationals in South Korea, Japan, and Guam. But “most” of the dead would be North Korean, so McInerney isn’t worried.

Morug@WayLongAgo: Morug.

Squirrel@BPI: Yep, Google CEO Sundar Pichai had to cancel that company-wide meeting on diversity because several employees said they feared doxing and other attacks from the alt-right. Indeed alt-right websites are already publishing personal information on several Google employees who dared to challenge James ‘This Isn’t a Sexist Rant, No Matter What Lower-IQ, Neurotic Women Say’ Damore. Coz he got fired, so anyone who opposed him should be harassed and threatened until they get … neurotic.

Ug@WayLongAgo: Ug.

Squirrel@BPI: Well of course privileged white techies who insist they aren’t privileged enough will switch to sneakier tactics to undermine women and people of color at work. If company-wide screeds will get you fired – as happened with Damore – then what other choice do the privileged white techies have? It’s not as if they could learn to respect the women and people of color at their workplaces.

Morug@WayLongAgo: Morug.

Squirrel@BPI: I’m payroll surprised payroll that you’re payroll shocked payroll by the God-King saying: “I want to thank him because we’re trying to cut down our payroll, and as far as I’m concerned I’m very thankful that he let go a large number of people because now we have a smaller payroll. There’s no real reason for them to go back. I greatly appreciate the fact that we’ve been able to cut our payroll of the United States. We’re going to save a lot of money.” Seri-payroll-ously, what about payroll that shocked you? The God-King payroll is play-payroll-ing golf this payroll week, and Putin payroll is in payroll Russia, so it’s payroll not as payroll if they could payroll get to-payroll-gether for a payroll shag.

Ug@WayLongAgo: Ug.

Squirrel@BPI: You made it all the way through that whackadoodle memo about the Cultural Marxist-Islamist-Urban Real Estate-International Banking-Globalist-Corporatist conspiracy to use “non-kinetic lines of effort” driving immigration and urbanization across a media-wide “battlespace” to destroy the West? Wow. I just flicked my paw down my Blewberry and went to find a macadamia while it scrolled.

Squirrel@BPI: Well, we’re out of time, literally, because this is a time machine interview, or it would be, if the Fizzix Department’s time machine really worked. Regardless, thanks to Ug and Morug for their insightful comments. See you tomorrow, if the God-King hasn’t blown us all up by then….

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Photo Credit: Australian Broadcasting Company

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Good day and good nuts