“I won’t visit the janitorial closet,” Professor Plum said as he entered the mail room. “I’ve seen it, and it’s lousy.”

He read the mail…. (More)

The Professor of Astrology Janitor harrumphed but Professor Plum raised his hands. “I’m sure it’s a very good janitorial closet. But it was kinda crowded with Ms. Scarlet and me and the buffer and mop and bucket and brooms and–”

“–Umm, TMI,” Chef said with a chuckle.

Professor Plum winked and took Ms. Scarlet’s hand, and they left to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar mail room, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor had seen the Jack of Clubs and Three of Diamonds before, and it was still lousy. He folded and the Squirrel called Chef’s big blind. Chef checked and the flop brought the other three Threes. Both the Squirrel and Chef checked, and the King of Hearts fell on the turn. The Squirrel bet and Chef offered a pot-sized raise. The Squirrel then pushed the rest of his chips into the middle.

“I guess we both have a King,” Chef said as she called.

The Squirrel had the King and Six of Spades, and Chef had the King of Diamonds and Ten of Hearts, so both had full houses of Threes over Kings. The Seven of Hearts on the river changed nothing, and they split the pot.

The Professor of Astrology Janitor sighed. “I had the other three, but it was the squat part of Jack-Squat.”

He began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make a Blueberry-Macadamia Crumble, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Blueberry-Macadamia Crumble? Wow, can I–

Dear Squirrel,

We need to answer the rest of the mail first.

Dear Ms. Crissie,

Oh. Right. Sorry.


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Hungary will remain a place where Western European Christians will always be able to find security. In the upcoming campaign, first of all we have to confront external powers. We have to stand our ground against the Soros mafia network and the Brussels bureaucrats. And, during the next nine months, we will have to fight against the media they operate.

Viktor in Budapest

Dear Viktor,

We suppose it’s somewhat reassuring to know that neither white supremacy nor George Soros’ liberal boogeyman status are limited to the U.S., and we’re confident that the God-King and your friend Vladimir Putin appreciate your twisted worldview. That said, we find it more than a bit hypocritical that your countrymen voted to join the European Union in 2003, fully 18 years after the Schengen Agreement that created open borders within the EU, yet you now want to wall yourself off from the rest of the EU. We also note that Hungary ratified the EU Charter of Fundamental Rights in 2008, and that this legally binding treaty forbids discrimination “on any ground such as sex, race, colour, ethnic or social origin, genetic features, language, religion or belief, political or any other opinion, membership of a national minority, property, birth, disability, age or sexual orientation.” We conclude that, like U.S. conservatives, you view the EU’s founding documents as an à la carte menu.


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Some guy in your Congress said he would protest if I came to visit your country. There will never be a time that I will go to America during my term, or even thereafter. So what makes that guy think I’ll go to America? I’ve seen America, and it’s lousy. You’re investigating me and the internal affairs of my country? I’m investigating you, and I will investigate you, and I will expose it to the world what you did to the Filipino, especially to the Moro Filipino. It would be good for the U.S. Congress to start with their own investigation of their own violations of the so many civilians killed in the prosecution of the wars in the Middle East. Otherwise I will be forced to investigate you, also. I will start with your past sins.

Rodrigo in Manila

Dear Rodrigo,

We applaud your decision not to visit the U.S. as, frankly, we’d rather you never set foot on our soil. As for the rest of your tirade, we note that our Congress, and our Department of Justice and Department of Defense, have often investigated charges of unlawful killings by U.S. troops overseas, and charges of unlawful killings by police and other law enforcement agencies here at home. We further note that such investigations have sometimes led to convictions and prison terms. We doubt that any Philippine body will investigate you for actively encouraging police to commit murder: “Throw them in the ocean or the quarry. Make it clean. Make sure there are no traces of the bodies.” However, we note a complaint has been filed against you in the International Criminal Court and the Philippines are a party to the ICC. We conclude that you may still face justice … at which time you will probably seek sanctuary in the “lousy” U.S., as we are not a party to the ICC….


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Wait, the U.S. is not a party to the ICC? And can I ask about that Blueberry-Macadamia Crumble now?

Not Yet a Party to Breakfast in Blogistan

Dear Squirrel,

We regret to respond that, indeed, the U.S. is not a party to the ICC. President Bill Clinton signed the Rome Treaty that established the ICC. However, under pressure from Senate Republicans, he expressed reservations about its potential application to U.S. troops and did not submit the treaty to the Senate for ratification. To no one’s surprise, President George Bush expressly disavowed the treaty. And while President Obama established a working relationship with the U.S. an observer to the ICC, we have no doubt that the God-King will repudiate that as well.

As for Chef’s Blueberry-Macadamia Crumble, she uses Kim Kelly’s recipe at the LivLife link below. And yes, Chef says you can have a small slice to share with Mrs. Squirrel and your family. Bon appétit!


Photo Credit: Ezra Acayan (Reuters)

Viktor in Budapest; voted to join the European Union in 2003; 18 years after the Schengen Agreement; Hungary ratifies EU Charter of Fundamental Rights; forbids discrimination on any ground.

Rodrigo in Manila; “Throw them in the ocean or the quarry…“; a complaint has been filed … in the International Criminal Court; Philippines are a party to the ICC.

The U.S. is not a party to the ICC.

Blueberry Macadamia Crumble recipe at LivLife.


Happy Sunday!