“If I say changing vintners will cost more,” Professor Plum asked, “am I accusing Chef of embezzlement?”
He read the mail…. (More)
Chef said the new vintner offers a special deal on imaginary bottles of Bordeaux for fictional universities. Professor Plum seemed satisfied with that news, and left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the
wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).
In the staff poker game, the
Professor of Astrology Janitor noted that Chef’s reraise would force him all-in to call.
“Are you accusing me of extortion?” Chef asked with a playful wink.
She had opened the pot with a raise. The
Professor of Astrology Janitor called with the Queen and Jack of Clubs, and the Squirrel called from the big blind. The flop brought the Ace and Eight of Clubs and the King of Diamonds. Both the Professor of Astrology Janitor and the Squirrel checked, expecting Chef to post a follow-on bet. Instead she paused for a moment and tapped the table.
The Nine of Spades on the turn added an inside straight draw to the
Professor of Astrology Janitor’s Club flush draw. He checked and the Squirrel put in a half-pot-sized bet. Chef pondered for a moment before calling and, now getting 6:1 pot odds on a 4:1 draw, the Professor of Astrology Janitor called.
The King of Clubs fell on the river, completing the
Professor of Astrology Janitor’s flush. Again he checked, and this time the Squirrel checked as well. Chef offered a half-pot-sized bet and the Professor of Astrology Janitor added a pot-sized raise. The Squirrel folded and Chef stacked up a pot-sized reraise. The Professor of Astrology Janitor counted his chips and commented that a call would put him all-in, and Chef replied with her question about extortion.
“Not at all,” the
Professor of Astrology Janitor said. “But I will accuse of you lying, or at least bluffing. I’ll call.” He turned over his cards. “Club flush, Ace-high.”
Chef patted the table and turned over her Ten and Nine of Clubs. “We were holding each other’s straight-flush outs.”
The Squirrel sighed and tapped at his Blewberry. “Now I know why they call Aces and Eights the dead man’s hand. I should’ve bet it at the flop.”
Professor of Astrology Janitor said, “they call it the dead man’s hand because that’s what Wild Bill Hickok was holding when he was shot.”
The Squirrel’s tail flicked as he texted. “Maybe he should’ve bet it at the flop too.”
In sympathy, the
Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make an Easy Cheesy Rice Breakfast Casserole, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….
Dear Ms. Crissie,
The brief time when we were *not* accusing those we disagree with of murder was nice while it lasted. https://t.co/qr1rzon1cg
— Senator Hatch Office (@senorrinhatch) June 23, 2017
Orrin in UT
We see that you are replying to this tweet by Sen. Bernie Sanders:
Let us be clear and this is not trying to be overly dramatic: Thousands of people will die if the Republican health care bill becomes law.
— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) June 23, 2017
We note that Sen. Sanders is not accusing anyone of murder. He is describing the real-life consequences of your party’s Wealthcare Act, based on multiple studies that link health insurance to mortality. We further note that you do not dispute the methodology, evidence, or conclusions of those studies. Instead, you simply play the Privileged Persecution Card by insisting that anyone who mentions those real-life consequences is accusing you and your party of “murder.”
You would have a somewhat stronger case had you instead replied to this tweet by Hillary Clinton:
Forget death panels. If Republicans pass this bill, they're the death party. https://t.co/jCStfOaBjy
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 23, 2017
But not even she accuses you of “murder.” Again, she simply points out the real-life consequences of your party’s $1-trillion tax cut for the rich, financed by taking affordable health insurance away from the working poor. And not surprisingly, when former President Obama described the facts and consequences of your plan in those terms, conservatives did not dispute the tax cut, or that the working poor would lose access to health insurance. Instead, they accused him of “class warfare.”
It seems Republicans and your media mouthpieces will play the Privileged Persecution Card, no matter what principled objection Democrats offer. If they frame the issue in economic terms, you whine about “class warfare.” If they frame the issue in life-and-death terms, you whine about being accused of “murder.” We conclude that you are simply … whiners.
Dear Ms. Crissie,
If Wild Bill Hickok had bet his Aces and Eights at the flop, would he still be alive today? Also, how does Chef make that Easy Cheesy Rice Breakfast Casserole?
Two Pair for Breakfast in Blogistan
We cannot speculate on whether Hickok would have survived that poker game if he had bet earlier. However, we note that he was born in 1837 and the oldest living human is Violet Brown of Jamaica, who was born in 1900. So Hickok almost certainly would not be today, even had he survived that game.
As for Chef’s Easy Cheesy Rice Breakfast Casserole, she uses the Food Network recipe below. She notes that this also makes a yummy lunch or side dish for dinner. Bon appétit!
Photo Credit: Associated Press