“The resident faculty were yelling at the TV,” Professor Plum said as he entered the mail room.
He read the mail…. (More)
The Squirrel texted that there is no TV in the
wine cellar library.
“Then then must’ve been somewhere else,” Professor Plum said. He then left with Ms. Scarlet to join said resident faculty in the
wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).
In the staff poker game, the
Professor of Astrology Janitor was whispering to the deck: “No Jack, no Heart, no Jack, no Heart.”
He had opened the pot by raising with the Ace and Nine of Clubs. The Squirrel folded and Chef called. The flop brought the Ace and Six of Diamonds and the King of Hearts. The
Professor of Astrology Janitor checked, intending to raise if Chef bet, but she simply checked behind.
The Nine of Hearts fell on the turn. This time the
Professor of Astrology Janitor bet his Aces and Nines, and Chef offered a pot-sized raise. Something felt off about her pattern of play. She would surely would have raised pre-flop with a hand like Ace-King, so she didn’t have a bigger two-pair. She might have called pre-flop with a pair of Sixes, but she wouldn’t have checked three Sixes at the flop with two Hearts on board. Perhaps had a King-Nine and thought her two-pair was good?
“I’m all-in,” the
Professor of Astrology Janitor said.
Now it was Chef’s turn to ponder. “I may have stuck my neck out,” she finally said, “but I have to call.”
She turned over the Ace and Jack of Hearts, for a pair of Aces and a Heart flush draw. The
Professor of Astrology Janitor revealed his cards and began whispering: “No Jack, no Heart, no Jack, no Heart.”
The King of Clubs fell on the river. “You forgot to include that in your prayer to the poker gods,” Chef said.
He had indeed. They both had Aces and Kings, but her Jack kicker beat his Nine kicker. The
Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make Asian Oatmeal Breakfast Bowls, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….
Dear Ms. Crissie,
The president is increasingly angry over the Russia investigation, yelling at television sets in the White House carrying coverage and insisting he is the target of a conspiracy to discredit – and potentially end – his presidency. Some of his ire is aimed at Rosenstein and investigative special counsel Robert Mueller, both of whom the president believes are biased against him. We keep telling him to avoid weighing in on an active probe, but he won’t listen. What should we do?
White House Insiders in D.C.
Dear Outhouse Insiders,
We suggest you resign before the Outhouse stench gets so embedded in your clothes and hair that you can never wash it out.
Dear Ms. Crissie,
Umm, that was … succinct.
So, I guess, uhh … how does Chef make those Asian Oatmeal Breakfast Bowls. Also, Chef always chooses a recipe that goes with the day’s topic, but I’m not seeing the connection this week. What am I missing?
Breakfast Insider in Blogistan
Some topics are worth entire books, others essays, and some only a sentence. Indeed we could have been even more succinct and replied with a single word – “Quit” – but then we couldn’t have used the Royal We, which is our trademark. Well, we could still have used it here, but it wouldn’t feel the same as–
Dear Ms. Crissie,
I understand. About the recipe?
Succinctly Hungry in Blogistan
Yes, we apologize. Chef says the topical link is that this week’s breakfast recipe comes from the Cooking Channel, which is on TV, which the God-King yells at. Although we doubt he yells at the TV if the Cooking Channel is on. Then again, we doubt the Outhouse TVs are usually tuned to the Cooking Channel.
Regardless, the Asian Oatmeal Breakfast Bowl is a savory, spicy, Korean-themed variation on an American classic. Chef uses the recipe at the link below. Bon appétit!
Photo Credit: 123rf.com