It’s tough being the ‘Yo’ in the God-King’s Yo-Yo. (More)

“There is nothing more discouraging or embarrassing for a spokesman….”

The Out House Sewer Spewer has a really tough job:

President Trump has never shown any reluctance to sacrifice a surrogate to serve a short-term political need, so he apparently did not think twice this week about exposing a series of staff members to ridicule as he repeatedly shifted his explanation for firing James B. Comey, the F.B.I. director.
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“Trump is putting a lot on the backs of his spokespeople, while simultaneously cutting their legs out from underneath them,” said Alex Conant, a Republican strategist and a former adviser to Senator Marco Rubio, Republican of Florida. “There is nothing more discouraging or embarrassing for a spokesman than to have your boss contradict you. In political communications, you’re only as good as your credibility.”

Consider his not-really-a-defense to the God-King’s threat to release tapes of conversations with James Comey:

Remarkably, Spicer did not have an aneurysm on the spot, or afterwards when he stated that he was unaware of any taped conversation between Comey and Trump. Comey, likewise, has not made any threat to leak anything to the press or public.

Since Trump was sworn into office, Spicer’s job has been to wear a metaphorical “kick me” sign for the White House. But even by Spicey standards, this week has surely been a trying one. While Sarah Huckabee Sanders stole the press secretary limelight – demonstrating baseline competence at deflecting for the president – Spicer was caught hiding from press among some bushes in the dark, only to be dragged out today in front of a firing squad.

Spicer, the spitting image of a career lackey, will probably spend this evening with his head buried deep in fabric for his requisite 23 minutes of daily shout-crying.

It’s not just the Sewer Spewer. The God-King hung his Vice-God-King out to dry as well:

Once again, Vice President Pence was out on a limb.

A day after President Trump fired FBI Director James B. Comey, his vice president stared into a television camera, surrounded by a gaggle of reporters on Capitol Hill, and cited the president’s decision to rely on the counsel of his advisers as proof of his “strong” leadership.

“President Trump made the right decision at the right time to accept the recommendation of the deputy attorney general and the attorney general to ask for the termination” of Comey, Pence said.

But that wasn’t true.

In fact, pretty much everyone in the Out House gets covered in stink:

At Friday’s White House press briefing, Sean Spicer explained that he and his staff do their best to gather relevant information from the president before briefing the press, but that Trump is occasionally unavailable and some information isn’t readily attainable.

An exasperated White House staffer on Friday described a different dynamic, saying the West Wing often struggles to keep up with Trump’s kinetic and unilateral public messaging operation and tweets and interviews that often diverge from the official White House line on the day’s events.
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“It’s not that we don’t know what the president wants to say, it’s that the president doesn’t know what the president wants to say,” the staffer said.

His proposed solution? End White House press briefings. Yes, really:

President Trump threatened Friday morning to end White House press briefings, arguing that “it is not possible” for his staff to speak with “perfect accuracy” to the American public.

Trump’s comments come after his description of his decision to fire FBI Director James B. Comey in an NBC News interview Thursday flatly contradicted the accounts provided earlier by White House officials, including Vice President Pence, exposing their explanations as misleading and in some cases false.

In a pair of tweets sent Friday, Trump suggested he might do away with the daily press briefings at the White House and instead have his spokesmen communicate to the public only via “written responses.”

No, God-King, the problem is not that you are “very active.” The problem is that you switch from one story to another to another as you survey the political and media blowback. That’s why your mouthpieces can’t “stand at a podium with perfect accuracy” and “written responses” wouldn’t make their jobs any easier. You put them in the impossible position of trying to guess which lie, if any, you might finally stick with.

That said, they had every reason to know this is how you operate, and they still signed on to polish your turds. So I don’t feel a bit sorry for them.

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Image Credit – Sean Spicer by Mark Wilson (Getty Images); YoYo drawing HowStuffWorks; Composite by Crissie Brown (BPICampus.com)

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Good day and good nuts