Rumors are swirling about a proposed Wingnut News Network…. (More)

“The belief that the Fox News Network is moving too far to the left”

Of course they won’t call it the Wingnut News Network. That would be too honest. Instead, they’ll call it Great America News or some such. But it’ll be of, by, and for wingnuts:

A well-placed source close to the proposal tells Mediaite that serious discussions are underway to create an alternative conservative cable network on the belief that the Fox News Network is moving too far to the left. The source, who is engaged in the talks, says a meeting is planned for today with two prominent high-powered television executives, some underperforming conservative networks and people who have an interest and the ability to fund a new network.

Supposedly they’re trying to lure Sean Hannity, although the right-wing Independent Journal Review reported that Hannity is “not negotiating” to leave Fox News and Hannity tweeted that was true. But there’s a big difference between “‘not negotiating’ to leave” and “not leaving.” Just sayin’.

The Mediaite report came just hours after New York Magazine’s Gabriel Sherman reported that Fox News co-president Bill Shine had been fired> He was reportedly the latest casualty in the network’s ever-expanding sexual harassment scandal.

So apparently “moving too far to the left” means firing men who sexually harass their colleagues … and not treating every God-King press conference and tweet as stone tablets brought down from Mount Trumpnai.

Among the stories that WNN might be reporting today, if it were already on the air:

Andrew Jackson Would Never Have Allowed the War of Northern Aggression

Today the President of the United States, Chief Executive, Commander in Chief, and Leader of the Free World corrected elitist historians about the War of Northern Aggression:

While the lying media quoted ‘experts’ who noted that President Jackson threatened to invade South Carolina and even have his Vice President executed during the Nullification Crisis, the President of the United States, Chief Executive, Commander in Chief, and Leader of the Free World understands that the war happened because Abraham Lincoln was too stubborn to negotiate a solution that respected states’ rights to enforce slavery in other states.

Trump Respects Real Leaders

Today the President of the United States, Chief Executive, Commander in Chief, and Leader of the Free World shrugged off critics who questioned his approval of strong leaders like China’s Xi Jinping, Egypt’s Abdel ­Fatah al-Sissi, North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, the Philippines’ Rodrigo Duterte, Russia’s Vladimir Putin, Thailand’s Prayuth Chan-ocha, and Turkey’s Recep Tayyip Erdogan:

“The United States has a limited ability to direct things,” said Michael Anton, the National Security Council’s director of strategic communications. “We can’t force these countries to behave certain ways. We can apply pressure, but if the alternative is not talking, how effective would it be if we had no relationships? If you walk away from relationships, you can’t make any progress.”

Anton explained that Trump is trying to “balance” interests. He said the decision to invite Duterte to the White House – a symbolic gesture that gives credibility to the autocrat’s rule – was agreed to by most of Trump’s advisers.

“It’s not binary,” he said. “It’s not that you care about human rights so you can’t have a relationship with the Philippines, or if you have a relationship with the Philippines you don’t care about human rights.”

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer explained that the President of the United States, Chief Executive, Commander in Chief, and Leader of the Free World is focused on the human rights of our people:

“Obviously, there’s a human rights component that goes into all of this and so it’s a balance. We wanna make sure that our country, our people are protected,” Spicer told reporters. “This isn’t a simple yes-or-no kinda situation.”

Cleaning Up After Moochele

Today the President of the United States, Chief Executive, Commander in Chief, and Leader of the Free World rolled back the overreach the former First Tranny:

The Trump administration is discontinuing a signature girls education initiative championed by former first lady Michelle Obama, according to officials.

The “Let Girls Learn” program, which she and President Barack Obama started in 2015 to facilitate educational opportunities for adolescent girls in developing countries, will cease operation immediately, according to an internal document obtained by CNN.

While aspects of the initiative’s programming will continue, employees have been told to stop using the “Let Girls Learn” name and were told that, as a program unto itself, “Let Girls Learn” was ending.

“Moving forward, we will not continue to use the ‘Let Girls Learn’ brand or maintain a stand-alone program,” read an email sent to Peace Corps employees this week by the agency’s acting director Sheila Crowley.

A source close to the White House said First Lady Melania Trump will partner with First Daughter Ivanka to “seek funding for a chain of girls’ schools to boost young women toward entrepreneurship.” The source said the by-invitation-only private schools will initially be housed in Trump properties in Dubai, Hong Kong, London, Paris, and Geneva, but “may later expand to countries like Africa and South America.”

In another response to the former First Gorillette’s heavy-handed statism, The President of the United States, Chief Executive, Commander in Chief, and Leader of the Free World also took steps to Make School Lunches Great Again:

“I was talking to some folks in Washington about this, and they said that the current program is working. ‘How do you know?’ I asked. They said it’s because 99 percent of schools are at least partially compliant. Well, only in Washington can that be considered proof that the system is working as it was intended,” [Agriculture Secretary Tom] Perdue said. “A perfect example is in the south, where the schools want to serve grits. But the whole grain variety has little black flakes in it, and the kids won’t eat it. The school is compliant with the whole grain requirements, but no one is eating the grits. That doesn’t make any sense.”

The President of the United States, Chief Executive, Commander in Chief, and Leader of the Free World dismissed rumors that new USDA school lunch standards will mandate that schools serve PERDUE® Frozen Breaded Chicken Breast Nuggets, saying “They’re the best chicken nuggets. Truly American! Especially with grits!”

Protecting Women from the Horror of Birth Control

Today the President of the United States, Chief Executive, Commander in Chief, and Leader of the Free World named women’s advocate Teresa Manning to oversee the nation’s family planning programs:

Manning, a former lobbyist with the National Right to Life Committee and legislative analyst for the conservative Family Research Council, will serve as deputy assistant secretary for population affairs at the Department of Health and Human Services. The Office of Population Affairs administers the Title X program, which subsidizes contraception, Pap smears and other preventive health care services for 4 million low-income Americans, roughly half of whom are uninsured.

Manning has said she opposes federal family planning funding, and she has a long history of making false claims about birth control and women’s health.

“Of course, contraception doesn’t work,” she said in a 2003 NPR interview. “Its efficacy is very low especially when you consider over years, which you know a lot of contraception health advocates want, to start women in their adolescent years when they’re extremely fertile, incidentally. And continue for 10, 20, 30 years, over that span of time the prospect that contraception would always prevent the conception of a child is preposterous.”
[…]
“The fact that Yoest will be replacing Kevin Griffis, who now works for Planned Parenthood, is another indication of the dramatic change we’ve seen in Washington since the election of President Trump,” Marjorie Dannenfelser, president of the anti-abortion group Susan B. Anthony List, said in a statement. “This is a new era for the pro-life movement and our fight to protect unborn children and their mothers from the horror of abortion.”

Manning will reportedly propose a new family planning program titled ‘Stop Being Sluts!’

Or maybe I imagined it….

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Image Credit: Salon; Text by CrissieB (BPICampus.com)

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Good day and good nuts