“I made a profound change in the restroom,” Professor Plum said as he entered the mail room. “You’ll wanna wait to go in there.”

He read the mail…. (More)

The Professor of Astrology Janitor said there’s a can of air freshener in each restroom for that very reason.

Professor Plum nodded and said he’d look for it, then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, Chef made a profound change by check-raising on the turn. She opened the pot with a minimum raise, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor called with the Ten and Nine of Diamonds. The flop brought the Queen of Hearts, Nine of Clubs, and Eight of Diamonds. Chef checked and the Professor of Astrology Janitor checked behind her. The Jack of Diamonds fell on the turn, and once again Chef checked. This time the Professor of Astrology Janitor put in a feeler bet with his pair of Nines, open-end straight draw, and Diamond flush draw … and Chef replied with a pot-sized raise.

Had she opened with a Jack-Ten and already made a straight? Might she have a pair of Queens or Jacks, and was betting to protect three-of-a-kind against the straight and flush draws? Could it be an all-out bluff?

The Professor of Astrology Janitor studied her carefully. She didn’t look like she was bluffing, but Caro’s Book of Tells says a player who’s bluffing will try to look strong. But Chef had also read that book, so she could be double-bluffing. Even so, a minimum raise, check, and then check-raise was an odd combination. It felt more like she made a hand. If she had three-of-a-kind, he would be a roughly 7:3 underdog with his straight and flush draws, with not quite enough pot odds to call. If she had Jack-Ten for a Queen-high straight, then the Professor of Astrology Janitor was a 3:1 underdog to win, plus a tiny chance for a split pot if one of the remaining three Jacks fell on the river. Again, the pot odds didn’t quite justify a call.

So he tossed his cards in the muck.

“I couldn’t sit on bottom set any longer,” Chef said as she turned over two black Eights.

The Professor of Astrology Janitor sighed. “Had I known the two other Nines were also outs, I’d have called.”

“Let’s rabbit hunt,” Chef said, the poker term for dealing the remaining cards although the pot was over.

And of course the Nine of Hearts would have fallen on the river.

The Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make Piggy Browns, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

Dear Ms. Crissie,

It’s a false standard, 100 days, but I have to tell you, I don’t think anybody has done what we’ve been able to do in 100 days, so we’re very happy. In just 14 weeks, my administration has brought profound change to Washington.

The President of the United States, Chief Executive, Commander in Chief, and Leader of the Free World

Dear God-King,

We agree that you have brought profound change. For example, a reporter on the phone with one disgruntled administration insider now often has to put that leaker on hold to take another call from another disgruntled administration insider. What’s more, your and your party’s bungling of health care has accomplished what President Obama could never quite manage: make Obamacare popular. You’ve also put a lot more Republican House seats in play for the 2018 midterms.

Set against those positive changes are others that are equally profound, albeit disturbing. For example, never before has a U.S. president used his office to enrich his resorts. Never before has a president’s daughter used her father’s clout to peddle her clothing and jewelry lines, or tried to run a “private capital fund” from a White House office. Never before have so many of a president’s executive orders been overturned by so many courts, so quickly. Never before has a president entered office under an FBI investigation for collusion with a foreign power to spread propaganda and skew an election. And of course, never before has a National Security Advisor been forced to resign within weeks, for failing to disclose private contacts with and payments from that foreign power.

We choose to focus on the positive profound changes and we encourage you to keep it up … right up until Democratic-led House and Senate committees begin oversight hearings in January, 2019….


Dear Ms. Crissie,

As the twins, Nancy and Michelle, might say: “Ooh, burn.”

So, what are Piggy Browns and how does Chef make them?

Burning for Breakfast in Blogistan

Dear Squirrel,

Chef says Piggy Browns are hash browns fried together with crumbled breakfast sausage. She cooks the sausage first, until it’s mostly done, then stirs in the hash browns. After they’ve browned on one side, she flips them and sprinkles shredded cheddar cheese on top, so it can melt in while the bottom side browns. Bon appétit!


Photo Credit: Joe Raedle (Getty Images)



Happy Sunday!