“Fictional professors at fictional schools are the worst,” Professor Plum said as he entered the mail room.
He read the mail…. (More)
Ms. Scarlet noted that there are many wonderful fictional professors at fictional schools, and indeed J.K. Rowling had a cast full of them in her Harry Potter series. Professor Plum’s face brightened and he and Ms. Scarlet left to join the resident faculty in the
wine cellar mail room, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).
In the staff poker game, the
Professor of Astrology Janitor thought his luck was the worst. Chef had opened the pot with a minimum raise and the Squirrel called. The Professor of Astrology Janitor looked at his Jack and Ten of Hearts and knew the pot odds compelled a call, even if he was almost certainly behind.
The flop brought the Jack and Ten of Clubs and the Four of Diamonds. The Squirrel checked, as did the
Professor of Astrology Janitor, and Chef offered a half-pot-sized bet. With only four reliable outs – the two remaining Jacks and Tens – the Professor of Astrology Janitor didn’t have the right pot odds to call, until the Squirrel called.
At that point, if Chef and the Squirrel had flush and straight draws – as seemed likely by their play – the
Professor of Astrology Janitor was getting 4:1 pot odds on a full house draw where he was already a slight favorite. Even if one of them had a strong hand like a pair of Fours for three of a kind, he still had a roughly 1-in-6 chance to make his full house. The flush and straight draws were more probable, so the pot odds demanded a call.
The turn brought the Six of Spades so, if Chef or the Squirrel were drawing to a Spade flush, she or he had made it. The
Professor of Astrology Janitor’s drawing odds had dipped to 1-in-11, so he followed the Squirrel’s check. But with 15 big blinds already in the pot, Chef’s minimum bet and the Squirrel’s call made it almost worthwhile for the Professor of Astrology Janitor to call again. Almost, but not quite. He would get only 19:2 pot odds, and 8.5 is less than 11. So he folded …
… and groaned as the Jack of Diamonds fell on the river.
“I have a flush,” Chef said, turning over the Ace and Queen of Spades, “but I’m not sure it’s good.”
The Squirrel tapped at his Blewberry – “Nope, sorry” – and turned up a pair of Fours for Fours-full-over-Jacks.
Chef looked at the
Professor of Astrology Janitor. “Lemme guess, you would’ve had Jacks-full-over-Tens.”
Professor of Astrology Janitor nodded and began his plaintive mewling. Chef went to the kitchen to make Extra-Yummy Fluffy Pancakes, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….
Dear Ms. Crissie,
We have a new ad campaign for Angel Soft, themed “Be Soft, Be Strong.” We’ve tried to weave in the product and brand truths with some human truths. We’re finding that intersection to be really fresh and resonant. Here’s the extended version of our “Just Dad” ad:
What do you think?
Karen in CA
We think your creative team did an amazing job. We especially love the touching irony as the daughter says “Guys are the worst,” to a guy who has been the best. We appreciate that he doesn’t offer a sarcastic “Gee, thanks” or a defensive “Not all guys.” He simply agrees and hands her a tissue. In that moment, he isn’t thinking about his own guy-ness. He is concerned only with her bruised feelings, and with tending to those feelings as best he can. His softness requires strength indeed, and we applaud you for recognizing that human truth.
Dear Ms. Crissie,
Umm … need a moment … okay … how do I make Chef’s Extra-Yummy Fluffy Pancakes?
Hungrily Soft in Blogistan
P.S. Are there tissues in the mail room?
Dear Hungrily Soft,
Chef uses the recipe at the link below. Bon appétit!
P.S. Yes, there are tissues in the mail room. We needed them too.
Photo Credit: AdWeek.