Tonight’s question, greetings, and banter here. (More)

This week Bank the Green Sea Turtle began swimming again after surgery to remove 11 pounds of coins from her digestive tract. Also, Alabama police arrested a high school baseball umpire for officiating while drunk and Ohio police arrested a couple for inducing panic after they posted photos of the wife’s ‘murder’ using ketchup, while Los Angeles police are looking for thieves who stole 100,000 packages of eye shadow worth a $4.5 million. Oh, an Arkansas campus cop got a juggling display from a not-at-all-drunk driver, while in heavy machinery policing an Alaska man used a front-end loader to steal an ATM and a drunken Rhode Island man in Floriduh stole a forklift because, well, he lost his car keys and he needed something to help a friend move. And a two-year-old English boy threw a truly royal tantrum. Should every head of state have the grace of Queen Elizabeth II?

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Today on Campus

Mixed Nuts at 8am ET – God-King’s U.S. Attorney Purge, plus Other Stuff

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