“Chef should spend more time on cooking,” Professor Plum said as he entered the mail room.

He read the mail…. (More)

Chef chuckled as Professor Plum and Ms. Scarlet left to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor had chosen to spend more time on bluffing. It had mostly worked, as Chef had a run of cards too poor to call even the most obvious bluff. The Professor of Astrology Janitor was not bluffing when he raised to open the pot the Ace and Queen of Hearts, and that made him a bit antsy when Chef replied with a pot-sized re-raise.

Did she have a big pair such as Aces, Kings, or Queens, or a suited Ace-King? He was only a narrow favorite against a pair of Kings or Queens, and a huge underdog against pocket Aces or Ace-King. Might she be raising with a pair of Jacks or lower? Even if she were, he was a slight underdog against an underpair. Indeed the only hands against for his Ace-Queen was a big favorite were weaker Aces, such as Ace-Jack or lower. Had Chef folded so often that she was playing rashly with a weak Ace? Or did she have the goods?

The Professor of Astrology Janitor decided discretion was the better part of valor and folded.

Chef flashed the Ace and Ten of Spades and said, “Caught you bluffing once too often?”

The Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make an Atlanta-style Summer Squash, Onion, and Cheese Casserole, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence:

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Donald in NY

Dear Donald,

We commend you for correctly spelling Rep. Lewis’ name. However, we note that is the only correct statement in your tirade. Indeed Rep. Lewis has been “fixing and helping his district” for decades. It already was the home of Morehouse College, Spelman College, Clark Atlanta University, Morris Brown College, and Morehouse School of Medicine, along with the Georgia Institute of Technology (Georgia Tech), Georgia State University, Emory University, Agnes Scott College, Clayton State University, and Atlanta Metropolitan State College when he took office. But during his tenure his district became the home of the Centers for Disease Control as well as the world’s busiest airport, Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. Other businesses that moved to the district during Rep. Lewis’ tenure include SunTrust Bank, Porsche Cars North America, Equifax, CNN, Twitter, Facebook, and health insurers such as Anthem, Athenahealth, and Kaiser Permanente. His district has a lower violent crime rate than that of Kansas City, Columbia (SC), and Columbus (GA), and has both education and income levels higher than the national average. So there’s little wonder that his constituents have flooded Twitter and other social media with proud photos of their community, just as there’s little wonder that dozens of his colleagues have come to his defense. We conclude that, yet again, you have broadcast both your ignorance and your pettiness.

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Deer Mz Krissee,

Kan squirrels haz da Atlanta-style Summer Squash, Onion, n Cheese Casserole? How do hoomans make it?

Askin 4 a Friend in Blogistan

Dear Pootie the Precious,

We note that human food is not good for squirrels, but the Squirrel is welcome to a small bowl of the uncooked veggies. Chef is using a generations-old family recipe posted by Coleman Bell, found at the link below. Bon appétit!

Deer Mz Krissee,

Wat do doze squiggly werds meen?

Askin 4 Me in Blogistan

Dear Pootie the Precious,

Bon appétit! is French for “Enjoy da noms!”

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Photo Credit: Getty Images, MetroUK.com

Georgia’s 5th Congressional District; other businesses that moved to the district during Rep. Lewis’ tenure; crime statistics; education and income levels higher than the national average; constituents have flooded Twitter with proud photos; dozens of his colleagues have come to his defense.

Atlanta-style Summer Squash, Onion, n Cheese Casserole

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Happy Sunday!