“Can we open our presents?” Professor Plum asked as he walked into the mail room.
He read the mail…. (More)
Unlike most Sunday mornings, Professor Plum and Ms. Scarlet did not dash off to join the resident faculty in the
wine cellar library, where they spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) … because of course they wanted to open their gifts.
And unlike most Sunday mornings, the
Professor of Astrology Janitor was not struggling in the staff poker game … because the Christmas tree was on the poker table so there was no room to play.
Chef had already made the Christmas Chocolate, Cranberry, and Macadamia Brownies for this morning’s breakfast, so she didn’t leave for the kitchen either.
Instead, they watched your lowly mail room clerk review the week’s correspondence:
SecretSquirrel@BPI: So Ms. Crissie, is it Christmas yet?
MsCrissie@BPI: Of course! It was Christmas at midnight.
SecretSquirrel@BPI: You know what I mean.
MsCrissie@BPI: For the record, your secret identity … isn’t.
SecretSciuromorphus@BPI: Sigh. Is this better?
MsCrissie@BPI: Well, the secret’s kinda already out. We’ve found it’s impossible to un-reveal a secret.
MsCrissie@BPI: See? That wasn’t so bad.
Squirrel@BPI: No, it’s just … secret gifts … secret Santas … y’know?
MsCrissie@BPI: We understand. We promise not to tell anyone.
Squirrel@BPI: Except everyone who reads this.
MsCrissie@BPI: Right. Except them. So, did you have a special Christmas wish?
Squirrel@BPI: Hold on, I’m making a note. B-e-t-t-e-r s-e-c-r-e-t i-d-e-n-t-i-t-y.
MsCrissie@BPI: Try long underwear and a cape. It works for Superman.
Squirrel@BPI: He also takes off his Clark Kent glasses. I think that’s the key to his disguise. Or maybe Lois Lane is has really bad vision.
MsCrissie@BPI: True. So, do you have a special Christmas wish?
Squirrel@BPI: Actually I do. And it’s not macadamias this year.
Chef@BPI: So I needn’t save you any of those Christmas Chocolate, Cranberry, and Macadamia Brownies?
Squirrel@BPI: Umm, I didn’t say that.
MsCrissie@BPI: Okay, what was your wish?
Squirrel@BPI: I wished for a week off from the news. Until January 2nd.
MsCrissie@BPI: Funny. We made the same wish.
ProfessorPlum@BPI: Congratulations, both of you! Santa forwarded your wishes to the faculty senate and they agreed. No news for a week, so we can all unwind.
Squirrel@BPI: Did they say what I should do for Mixed Nuts?
MsCrissie@BPI: What about Campus Question?
ProfessorPlum@BPI: They said make up something funny.
Squirrel@BPI: That’s not really any easier.
MsCrissie@BPI: Yes, but it’s less bile-inducing.
Squirrel@BPI: True. So okay, we both got our wishes. What about everyone else?
ProfessorOfAstrologyJanitor@BPI: I got mine too. Tee hee hee.
Chef@BPI: Don’t kiss-and-tell, dear.
MsCrissie@BPI: You and Professor Plum should take Chef and the
Professor of AstrologyJanitor out to dinner. A double date.
ProfessorPlum@BPI: I thought of that, but Chef is very picky about restaurants.
Chef@BPI: Guilty as charged. But I’ll make dinner for the four of us.
ProfessorPlum@BPI: Mmmhhh, yummy.
Chef@BPI: We can have a poker night.
ProfessorOfAstrologyJanitor@BPI: *plaintive mewl*
Chef@BPI: Okay, how about a movie night?
ProfessorOfAstrologyJanitor@BPI: Much better.
MsScarlet: The Sense8 Christmas special is out on Netflix.
Chef@BPI: Sounds perfect!
Squirrel@BPI: Everyone got their Christmas wishes!
MsCrissie@BPI: Looks that way.
Squirrel@BPI: So now I have to pretend to be somebody else and ask for Chef’s Christmas Chocolate, Cranberry, and Macadamia Brownies recipe.
MsCrissie@BPI: We really need to discuss the whole secret identity thing. As for Chef’s Christmas Chocolate, Cranberry, and Macadamia Brownies recipe …
Chef@BPI: It’s at the link below. Bon appétit!
All@BPI: Merry Christmas, everyone!
Image Credit: Crissie Brown (BPICampus.com)