“You read the mail!” Professor Plum said as he walked into the mail room.

He read the mail…. (More)

Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor was betting as if Chef held a junk hand, unlike, say, his Eight of Spades and Six of Clubs. He opened by calling the big blind and, when Chef put in a half-pot-sized raise, he replied with a pot-sized reraise.

“Maybe you have Aces,” Chef said warily, “but I’m not folding Kings. I’m all-in.”

The Professor of Astrology Janitor sighed and folded his junk hand.

“I didn’t think you had Aces,” Chef said, “just like I didn’t have Kings.”

She turned over a pair of Threes and the Professor of Astrology began his plaintive mewling. Chef went to the kitchen to make Holiday Apple Fritters, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

I scolded my supporters yesterday. I told them: “You people were vicious, violent, screaming, ‘Where’s the wall? We want the wall!’ Screaming, ‘Prison! Prison! Lock her up!’ I mean, you are going crazy. You were nasty and mean and vicious and you wanted to win, right? But now, now it’s much different. Now, you’re laid back, you’re cool, you’re mellow, right? You’re basking in the glory of victory.”

Who said I couldn’t be presidential?

Donald in NY

Dear Bully-elect,

We agree that your supporters were vicious, nasty, and mean. That said, we note that you encouraged their viciousness and added a double heaping helping of your own nastiness and meanness. Thus, we think you rather petty to scold them for the very behavior you encouraged and modeled.

We conclude that pretty much everyone has said you couldn’t be presidential, and you just proved their point … again.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

So far, you’ve used Bullshitter-elect, Bully-elect, Kleptocrat-elect, Lapdog-elect, Letch-elect, Narcissist-elect, and maybe one or two others that I forgot. How many Epithet-elect titles will he get?

Also, how do I make Chef’s Holiday Apple Fritters?

Titledly Hungry in Blogistan

Dear Titledly Hungry,

We suspect he won’t get too many more Epithet-elect titles because, alas, soon he’ll be the Bullshitter-in-Chief, Bully-in-Chief, Kleptocrat-in-Chief, Lapdog-in-Chief, Letch-in-Chief, Narcissist-in-Chief, and whatever others we come up with.

Chef uses Abby9’s recipe for Apple Fritters, from AllRecipes.com. The complete recipe is at the link below. Bon appétit!

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Photo Credit: David Becker (Getty Images)

Donald in NY.

Holiday Apple Fritters.

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Happy Sunday!