“Happy Holidays!” Ellen said cheerfully.
Bob shook his head. “We have to say ‘Merry Christmas’ now.”
Midday Matinee is our people watching, people doing and people being feature. Join the Woodland Creatures for an afternoon break.
Welcome back to Tuesday’s Tale, a weekly feature where we collaborate to write a story. Previous Tuesday’s Tales include Welcome to Weirden and Christmas Lists. We follow the basic rules of the “Yes, And” improvisational game – accept everything written so far as part of the story, and add your own paragraph (or so) where the last addition left off – except you needn’t begin your addition with “Yes, and.” I’ll start the story….
Ellen arched a brow. “But ‘Happy Holidays’ includes everyone.”
“It excludes some Christians,” Dave objected, joining the conversation.
“How?” Ellen asked. “Christmas is a holiday, so ‘Happy Holidays’ includes that too.”
Dave shrugged. “Some Christians only feel included if everyone else is left out.”
“Y’know,” Faye said as she walked over, “that may be the stupidest thing ever.”
“No,” Bob said, holding up a sheet of paper, “the stupidest thing ever is this memo from management. It says we all have to greet customers with ‘Merry Christmas.’ And as they leave, we have to say ‘May our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ bless you in this Sacred Season.’”
Ellen shook her head. “But won’t that offend our Jewish customers? Not to mention Buddhists and Muslims and Sikhs and anyone else who’s not Christian?”
“It’s also too long,” Faye added. “Can’t we just stick with ‘Have a Nice Day?’”
“The memo says that’s secular humanism,” Dave said. “It implies you control whether you have a nice day, instead of God controlling it.”
“Or management controlling it,” Ellen muttered.
Bob shrugged. “Same thing. Anyway, the memo also says we have to pronounce the capital letters.”
Drawing Credit: Bakura240 (DeviantArt)