“It’s elementary school, my dear Watson,” Professor Plum said as he entered the mail room.

He read the mail…. (More)

Chef objected that the line was “It’s elementary” rather than “It’s elementary school.”

The Squirrel shook his head and tapped at his Blewberry: “It’s neither. Holmes never said that line in any of Arthur Conan Doyle’s stories. That line was written for the early films.”

Professor Plum shrugged and said it should be “elementary school” in the context of today’s mail. Your lowly mail room clerk noted that he’s not supposed to read the mail before we do, but he merely winked and left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game …

BPI Mail Room Build

… the Professor of Astrology Janitor peeked at his Nine of Diamonds and Nine of Clubs and said “The game’s afoot” as he put in a pot-sized raise.

The Squirrel pushed his cards into the muck and texted: “That was Holmes’ signature line in Conan Doyle’s stories.”

Pootie the Precious folded and pawed her iHazPhone: “Y iz da game a foot?”

“Afoot is one word,” Chef said as she called. “In this context, it means the game has started.”

“But we wuz playin alreddy,” Pootie P texted.

“I meant for this pot,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said, scratching between Pootie P’s ears as Chef dealt the flop. He looked at the Ten and Six of Diamonds and the Four of Spades and tapped the green felt. “I’ll check.”

“Missed it, eh?” Chef said as she counted out chips. “Half the pot to stay in.”

The Professor of Astrology Janitor pretended to think for a moment, and called. The Six of Hearts on the turn gave him a full house. He tapped the table again. “Check to the bettor.”

Chef looked at the Professor of Astrology Janitor’s stack and counted out more chips. “The last card will cost all you have left.”

The Professor of Astrology Janitor smiled, slid in his chips, and turned over his cards. “Nines full of Sixes.”

“Very nice hand,” Chef said, turning over her cards, “but not as nice as four Sixes. I was trying to protect bottom set and caught lucky.”

The Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make a Proper English Fry-Up, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Lindsey in SC

Dear Lindsey,

We applaud your courage in challenging your own party, and we agree that one needn’t be Sherlock Holmes to piece together the evidence of Russia’s meddling in our presidential election. Even worse is Putin’s Lapdog-elect’s nomination of Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson for Secretary of State. In 2013, Vladimir Putin presented Tillerson with Russia’s Order of Friendship, yet the Lapdog-elect named Tillerson one day after the Washington Post reported that the CIA and other U.S. intelligence agencies have evidence that Russia interfered to ensure Putin’s Lapdog would indeed become the Lapdog in Chief.

Worse still is your Senate colleague’s response to this mess:

If Russia’s meddling is “serious,” and we agree that it is, then how is it “hardly news?” Unless by “hardly news” he means the colloquially dismissive “Nothing to see here…move on,” and simply ran out of characters.

Sadly, we think Jonathan Chait’s assessment of Putin’s, the Lapdog-elect’s, and most Senate Republicans’ “will to power” is correct:

The progression of [the Lapdog-elect’s statement] is telling. It begins by dismissing the veracity of the CIA’s conclusions, and then immediately proceeds to imply that the truth of the matter is irrelevant, since Trump won. The CIA can’t be trusted, it all happened so long ago, but it doesn’t matter because Trump won.

And that is the nub of it. Very little will come of this, except perhaps that future presidential campaigns may have to account for the political risk of offending the Kremlin when devising their Russia stance (lest they be targeted by hackers). When all the smoke has cleared away and the outrage dissipated, the bottom line will be that Russia set out to influence the U.S. election, and Republicans in Congress decided not to speak out against them, and both their calculations were rewarded.

But you have spoken out, Lindsey, and for that we applaud you.


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Is that the BPI Mail Room? What is that green room in the background, and why is there a chair there? Also, what is that room behind the open doorway, across the corridor? Where’s the Kitchen? Oh, and why the big openings in the mail room wall?

While I’m asking questions, shouldn’t today’s recipe be a Russian breakfast, rather than an English one? Anyway, how do I make a Proper English Fry-up?

Dasvibereakfastya in Blogistan

Dear Dasvibreakfastya,

That is indeed the BPI Mail Room, or at least the start of it.

The green room in the background is the Cafeteria, and the chair in there is the original cafeteria chair. The chairs around the poker table in the Mail Room are memory-saving copies. We will add cafeteria tables and more chair-copies soon.

The room behind the open doorway across the corridor is the women’s restroom. The Corridor also has doorways for the men’s restroom, stairwell, elevator, and another office. But none of those doors will open, so the rooms won’t be modeled.

The Kitchen is behind the far wall of the Mail Room, facing the Cafeteria:

BPI Cafeteria Test

There’s a serving bay between the Kitchen and Cafeteria and another bay out of frame to the left, for diners to return their dirty dishes. The Kitchen will be fully furnished with appliances and props copied from the Superfund Diner set.

As for those big openings between the Mail Room and Corridor, the Mail Room will double as a student lounge. The opening nearer the Cafeteria will have two double-paned ‘fishbowl’ windows with blinds between the panes. The other opening will have one ‘fishbowl’ window and the campus mailboxes, already in progress:

Mailboxes Screenshot

As for today’s breakfast recipe, Chef chose a Proper English Fry-up – from the BBC link below – to follow the Sherlock Holmes theme. But it may get turned into a Russian breakfast recipe if we get hacked….

Either way, Bon appétit!


Top Image Credit: ClipArts.co

BPI Mail Room and Cafeteria Image Credits: Crissie Brown (BPICampus.com)

Lindsey in SC; Tillerson received Russia’s Order of Friendship; Jonathan Chait’s assessment.

Proper English Fry-up.


Happy Sunday!