“I guess I don’t deserve the title of professor either,” Professor Plum said as he walked into the mail room.

He read the mail…. (More)

Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor wondered if he deserved the cards he’d just been dealt. He was distracted by his new buffer and hadn’t been playing especially well, misreading some second-best hands and making a few ill-timed bluffs. Even so, a pair of red Aces came his way. Still distracted, he meant to just call the big blind but instead tossed in two blue chips, making a minimum raise.

“I smell a rat,” Chef said as she peeked at her cards. “You always either call or open with a pot-sized raise. So I don’t these are good.”

She flashed two black Nines as she tossed them in the muck, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor scooped in a minimal pot. He began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make Gooburgers, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….


Dear Ms. Crissie,

I don’t know why everyone’s talking about Donald Trump insulting Khirz Khan. We’ve got an un-indicted felon as his opponent and you’re talking about Khan, about him making a remark about this man. All right, I don’t care if he’s a Gold Star parent. He certainly doesn’t deserve that title, OK, if he’s as anti-American as he’s illustrated in his speeches and in his discussion. I mean, if he’s a member of the Muslim Brotherhood or supporting, you know, the ISIS-type of attitude against America, there’s no reason for Donald Trump to have to honor this man.

Carl in NY

Dear Carl,

We commend your talent for fantasy, and nothing else. We would suggest you read the Khans’ amazing life story, but we know you can’t be bothered with mere facts. Never mind that there is zero evidence that Mr. Khan, his wife, or their son Humayun who was killed in action while serving in Iraq had even the remotest connection to the Muslim Brotherhood or ISIS. Well, apart from merely being Muslim, which seems to be all the ‘proof’ you need. Indeed you don’t even need that, as in that same interview you insisted that President Obama hasn’t proven he’s not Muslim. You seem to think it’s up to the rest of the world to disprove any wild-eyed belief that pops into your head. Thankfully, the people of New York were smart enough not to elect you as their governor, and you now have nothing else to do but appear on satellite radio shows to howl at the moon.


Dear Ms. Crissie,

What a disgusting man. Please tell me Gooburgers aren’t disgusting. But why is Chef making them for breakfast? Oh, and how does she make them?

Disgustingly Hungry in Blogistan

P.S. Do you have any more cool shots of that diner?

Dear Disgustingly Hungry,

Its name notwithstanding, Superfund Diner’s signature Gooburger is not disgusting at all. It’s simply a grilled hamburger, served with Goo Gravy instead of ketchup or other condiments. To make Goo Gravy, Chef melts 6 Tablespoons of butter and then whisks in 6 Tablespoons of all-purpose flour along with a sprinkling of dried parsley, rosemary, savory, thyme, and a few turns of freshly ground black pepper. When the roux begins to smell nutty, Chef stirs in 2 cups of beef stock mixed with 1 tablespoon of Merlot. She slowly stirs with a whisk until the liquid comes to a boil and thickens, and ladles a generous dollop over each burger before putting the top bun in place. Like Wanda at the Superfund Diner, Chef serves this with lots of napkins.

Chef concedes that a Gooburger is not traditional breakfast fare but notes that, in terms of nutrition, it’s not much different from a sausage patty on a biscuit with cream gravy. Bon appétit!

P.S. Yes, we do have another cool shot of the Superfund Diner. Here’s a close-up of its ‘Open’ sign:


Photo Credit: Screen Capture (WGRZ.com)

Carl in NY; the Khans’ amazing life story.

Image Credit: Crissie Brown (BPICampus.com)


Happy Sunday!