“This isn’t a door,” Professor Plum said as he walked into the mail room. “It’s a doorway.”

He read the mail…. (More)

Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor had a flush, but he wasn’t sure it was the winning flush. Chef opened the pot with a raise, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor called with the Seven-Six of Spades. The flop brought the Ace of Hearts and the Ten and Four of Spades. Chef put in a half-pot-sized bet, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor called with his Spade flush draw.

The Queen of Spades on the turn gave him a Spade flush. Chef checked, and he offered a pot-sized bet. Chef nodded and said “I’m all-in.”

Did she have the Ace and another Spade, for an Ace-high flush? Or perhaps the King-Jack of Spades, for a King-high flush and a straight-flush draw? Or might she be bluffing with three-of-a-kind, hoping to make a full house at the river if called?

The Professor of Astrology Janitor decided he had played the hand for a flush and made a flush, so it didn’t make sense to fold it. He called and turned up his Seven-Six of Spades.

“Whew,” Chef said, turning over the Nine-Eight of Spades. “When you called, I was afraid you had Ace-high.”

The river brought the Eight of Clubs, and Chef’s Queen-Ten-Nine flush beat the Professor of Astrology Janitor’s Queen-Ten-Seven flush. He began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make Housewarming Baked Apples, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

About Donald Trump’s attack on Judge Gonzalo Curiel. It’s not racial. Mexico isn’t a race. I just want to make the point that Mexico is not – Mexican is not a race.

Mark in NYC

Dear Mark,

We concede that ‘Mexican’ is not a race. It’s an ethnicity. But ‘Hispanic’ is a race, and we’re sure Donald Trump would make the same argument if Judge Curiel’s parents had immigrated from the Dominican Republic, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Ecuador, or some other former Spanish colony. Indeed we’re confident that Trump would make the same argument had Judge Curiel’s parents immigrated from Brazil, even though Brazilian-Americans are not technically ‘Hispanic’ because Brazil was a colony of Portugal. So you are technically correct, as pedants often are.

But you are also wrong, as pedants often are. Trump’s attack on Judge Curiel is all about racism, and specifically about white supremacy. We conclude that, given your disastrous interview with Ted Cruz back in April, you should exercise the better part of valor when the topic turns to race. Simply nod and smile … or smirk, as seems to be your penchant.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

What are Housewarming Baked Apples, and how do I make them?

Housewarmingly Hungry in Blogistan

Dear Housewarmingly Hungry,

Chef notes that today’s recipe is actually Granola-Ginger Baked Apples with Greek Yogurt. But she found it by searching for housewarming breakfast recipes, because this is our first Sunday in Newer Venerable Hall. You can find this delicious recipe from MyRecipes.com at the link below. Bon appétit!

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Photo Credit: Evan Agostini (AP)

Sources:

Mark in NYC; disastrous interview with Ted Cruz.

Housewarming Baked Apples.

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Happy Sunday!