If you’ve been sneezing lately, it may be because we’re building the Newer Venerable Hall. Or it could just be hay fever…. (More)

Many of you may remember when we built the New Venerable Hall, to update the old Venerable Hall, named after the venerable Venerable family, who would have been major alumni donors if they’d ever attended here or given us anything. Come to think of it, I’m not sure why the Venerable family are so venerable after all. But I digress.

My point is, New Venerable Hall was state-of-the-art when it opened, and if BPI were a real campus with real buildings it would still be state-of-the-art. But we’re a nonexistent campus, and it turns out nonexistent buildings age faster than real ones.

The Professor of Astrology Janitor insisted it wasn’t his fault, and the Janitor Professor of Astrology said something about the moon rising in the house of Lake Toba General Contracting. Or maybe he said something about being mooned by one of the builders. I was nibbling on a fresh, crunchy carrot stick and he was talking quietly. Plus I wasn’t listening. But again, I digress.

Anyway, our Teknowhat Department got together with Lake Toba General Contracting and they’ve designed a slick, once-again-state-of-the-art Newer Venerable Hall:

Our Teknowhat Department told me that photo in the middle is a selfie they took while visiting a stock photo studio. Uh huh….

Speaking of photos, our article photos will change. You won’t have to squint at tiny photos inset into a tall, narrow logo anymore. Instead, our front page will have nice, big photos like that oh-sure-it’s-a-selfie-uh-huh, with the article title and lead paragraph superimposed over the bottom of the image. And our article pages will have an even bigger version of the photo just under the title:

Even with that huge photo, I don’t see any bonobos. Hrmm….

Anyway, the design isn’t quite finalized. But they say the Newer Venerable Hall will be better than ever. For example, it will have device-sensitive, optimized layouts for desktops/laptops, tablets, and smartphones. They didn’t mention my Blewberry, but I’m sure that will work too. It better, or I’ll get grumpy.

The front page will have columns beneath the main slider, so you can survey the most recent articles in each category, and they’ll add a Breaking News category where our editors and contributors can post blurbs with links to hot news stories. That will help us put up more content each day, so you have more reasons to visit more often.

My Twitter feed will still be in the left margin, along with most of the stuff you’re used to seeing there, but they may rearrange it. For example, I’ll ask them to put my Twitter feed at the top of that margin, so you don’t have to scroll down to find my latest nuggets. You’re welcome.

And they’ll update our Blogroll and RSS news feeds and other things like that.

In short, they promise the Newer Venerable Hall will be so slick and state-of-the-art that you’ll slide right off the state into the art. Or something.

Just so long as they don’t disturb Árbol Squirrel….

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Photo Credits: Adobe Stock Photo. Standard License.

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Good day and good nuts