“It’s not my fault I’m me,” Professor Plum said as he entered the mail room. He turned to Ms. Scarlet and winked. “It’s hers.”

He read the mail…. (More)

Ms. Scarlet giggled and they left together to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor said Chef was enabling his ill-timed bluffs by dealing him bad cards. It was the Professor of Astrology Janitor’s turn to deal next, and he promptly dealt himself the Six of Hearts and the Three of Clubs.

Chef put in a pot-sized raise and the Professor of Astrology Janitor folded and began his plaintive mewling. Chef went to the kitchen to make a SPAM Hashbrown Bake, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Hillary Clinton has been the total enabler. She would go after these women and destroy their lives. She was an unbelievably nasty, mean enabler, and what she did to a lot of those women is disgraceful. Nobody respects women more than me, and nobody in this country, and maybe in the history of the country politically, was worse than Bill Clinton with women. Have you ever read what Hillary Clinton did to the women that Bill Clinton had affairs with? And they’re going after me with women? Plus she’ll be sleeping when crises happen at odd hours. I’m the last person she wants to run against … because my attitude is, I don’t care.

Donald in NY

Dear Donald,

We commend NBC for adding the phrase “incredulously, without citing any specific examples or sources” after quoting your vile, sexist attack that blamed Hillary Clinton for her husband’s infidelity. That said, we think Joe Gandelman eloquently summarized the problem with your strategy:

Trump’s problem – and the problem now for the GOP and those within the GOP that are now endorsing or enabling him – is that he’s not expanding the GOP tent. He’s building a wall around it to keep those who don’t hail him out.

We also note that Kevin Drum seems to have a sneak peek at your playbook:

Next up: Trump claims that Chelsea Clinton knew all about Benghazi. Huma Abedin is disgusting for sticking with her husband. Beyoncé wouldn’t have any fans if she were a man. Shonda Rimes is an affirmative-action hire who has ruined ABC’s Thursday-night TV lineup. Malia Obama is going to Harvard on the taxpayer’s dime. Kim Kardashian is a total slut. Laura Bush is a loser. Amal Clooney defends terrorists. Gloria Steinem sure hasn’t aged well. Natalie Portman was terrible in Star Wars.

We’re sure that would continue your steady, downward spiral among women. And we’re sure you will blame women for that spiral:

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

So Chef found a SPAM breakfast recipe? I hope it’s more appetizing than Donald’s comments.

Spamming for Breakfast in Blogistan

Dear Spamming for Breakfast,

Chef found this recipe for SPAM Hashbrown Bake at the SPAM company’s own website. To make it, first combine 1 32-ounce package of slightly-thawed frozen hashbrowns in a large bowl with ½ cup melted butter, 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 teaspoon of black pepper, and ½ teaspoon of garlic powder. In a separate bowl, combine 2 cups of shredded Cheddar cheese, 1 12-ounce can of SPAM cut into cubes, 1 10¾-ounce can of cream of chicken soup, 1½ cups of sour cream, ½ cup of milk, ½ cup of chopped onion, and 1 2-ounce can of drained and chopped green chiles. Stir the SPAM mixture into the hashbrown mixture, then pour into a 2-quart baking dish. Sprinkle with 2 cups of crushed potato chips and bake at 350º for 45-60 minutes, until heated thoroughly. Bon appétit!

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Photo Credit: Alex Brandon (AP)

Donald in NY; Joe Gandelman; steady, downward spiral among women.

SPAM Hashbrown Bake.

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Happy Mother’s Day!