“I’ve never met with the pope,” Professor Plum said as he entered the mail room, “but I met Bob Hope in a hotel lobby.”
He read the mail. (More)
“I was staying at a hotel and Bob Hope was there to entertain a meeting of Young Republicans,” Professor Plum explained. “He was almost 90 at the time. The irony was … noteworthy.”
Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the
wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).
In the staff poker game, the
Professor of Astrology Janitor hadn’t met Doyle Brunson, but he read Brunson’s book Super System II. So when he saw he’d been dealt a pair of red Jacks, he followed the book’s advice and offered a pot-sized raise. Chef raised back, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor called.
The flop brought the Ten and Four of Spades and the Seven of Hearts. The
Professor of Astrology Janitor checked and, after Chef put in a small bet, responded with a pot-sized raise. Chef paused for a long moment and called. The Deuce of Clubs on the turn seemed innocent enough. Now the Professor of Astrology Janitor led out with a half-pot-sized bet, and again Chef called.
The Three of Spades on the river was a danger card. If Chef had two Spades in-hand, she had made a flush. If she had a Six-Five in-hand, she had a Seven-high straight. But if she had started with a hand like Ace-King, the community cards hadn’t helped her and his pair of Jacks was still the best hand. Still, the
Professor of Astrology Janitor couldn’t bet on that hope, as Chef would only call with a hand that beat his Jacks. He checked and Chef checked behind.
“All I have is a pair of Queens,” Chef said, turning over her cards.
Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make Medialunas, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….
Dear Ms. Crissie,
This morning when I left my hotel, Sen. Bernie Sanders was there. He knew I was leaving at that time and I had the kindness to greet him and his wife and another couple who were with them. When I came down, I greeted them, shook their hands and nothing more. This is good manners. It’s called good manners and not getting mixed up in politics. If anyone thinks that greeting someone means getting involved in politics, they should see a psychiatrist.
Francis in Rome
P.S. I read that your Squirrel was here in Rome to cover the papal conclave three years ago, and that he hitched a ride on the Papal Seagull and was climbing down the chimney when they sent up the smoke to announce my election. Is he okay?
P.P.S. What recipe does Chef use to make Medialunas. Those are a breakfast treat from my homeland of Argentina.
Dear Holy Father,
We agree that it was good manners to greet Sen. Sanders and the others in the lobby of your hotel. We’re sorry that Sanders’ vague initial comments allowed the media to speculate that you had endorsed his candidacy. Thank you for clarifying the context and substance of your meeting.
P.S. The Squirrel asked us to thank you for asking and send you his warmest regards. He says the smoky chimney was better than the CPAC Convention that he covered on the way back from Rome.
P.P.S. Chef uses the Medialunas recipe from Rebecca Caro’s website From Argentina With Love. The link is below, although we suspect the Vatican Chef already has a recipe that you like.
Photo Credit: Catholic.com