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This week Staten Islanders asked the USDA to round up their turkeys as a Phoenix police officer had to take a puppy break and Florida’s Secretary of Business and Professional Regulation was evicted due to bat guano. Also, a Brink’s worker in Alabama stole $200,000 in quarters and a California investigator brawled with a defense attorney in a courthouse hallway. And a 93-year-old Ohio woman finally received her high school diploma after being expelled in 1942 because she was married. So Florida government is bat-s–t crazy … for real?

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