The resident faculty left one of childhood’s great disappointments outside the mail room this morning. The staff hope we don’t have to play paddleball ever again, and that this was just their weekly clue…. (More)

“I always hated paddleball,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said, looking at the photo left by the resident faculty when they made their way from the wine cellar library, where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”), to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference.

Chef nodded as she brought out the decoder ring.

 photo SquirrelPecanRing.jpeg

“The packaging always said ‘Hours of Fun!'” Chef said, scraping stray pecans into the Squirrel’s bowl. “Sometimes they printed that right on the paddle.”

The Squirrel tapped at his Blewberry. “It wasn’t ‘Hours of Fun?'”

“Not even ‘Minutes of Fun,'” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said. “I think I kept it going for a few seconds, once. Then it swung around and bonked me on the nose.”

“Mine got tangled in a ceiling lamp,” Chef said. “My mom got a stepstool to get it free and then shortened the elastic. Then it bonked me on the nose on its way to wrapping around my wrist.”

“And this toy was popular … why?” the Squirrel asked.

“It was supposed to be something you could play with alone,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said.

The Squirrel nodded and tapped at his Blewberry. “Except for needing your mom to untangle it from the ceiling light.”

“And to take it away from your bratty brother because he won’t stop whacking you with the paddle,” Chef added.

“Or your bratty sister,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor noted.

“So,” the Squirrel texted, “if I understand this correctly, the big print on the package promised entertainment, but it turned out to be annoying?”

“Like the news….” Chef began. Her voice trailed off. Then she nodded. “I see.”

“The resident faculty want me to do Mixed Nuts again,” the Squirrel texted.

“On the plus side,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor noted, “you could whack them with that paddle.”

We would never have suggested that….


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Happy Monday!