Professor Plum wore a Hawaiian shirt and flip flops as he walked into the mail room. “The resident faculty aren’t completely South Blogistanis. Just mostly.”
He read the mail…. (More)
He then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the
wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).
In the staff poker game, the
Professor of Astrology Janitor wasn’t completely bluffing. He opened the pot by raising with a pair of red Nines, and Chef called. The Ace and Four of Hearts came with the Jack of Diamonds on the flop, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor put in a half-pot-sized continuation bet. Once again, Chef called. The Seven of Hearts at the turn gave the Professor of Astrology Janitor four Hearts, and he still had a pair of Nines. So he put in another half-pot-sized bet, and this time Chef offered a pot-sized reraise.
Was she betting a pair of Aces or Jacks, guessing that he hadn’t yet made a flush and was betting a smaller pair? Did she have two Hearts and a made flush? Might she be betting a hand like the King of Hearts and another Queen, still drawing to either an Ace-King-high flush or an Ace-high straight? The last option was too weak a hope to justify a call, and the
Professor of Astrology Janitor folded.
“I guess I pushed too soon, or too hard,” Chef said as she flashed the King and Queen of Hearts.
Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling, and Chef went to the kitchen to make New Hampshire Clam Chowder Casserole, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….
Dear Ms. Crissie,
I know you liberals think we’re completely crazy, but we’re not. For example, last night Donald said he wouldn’t let sick people die in the street, and Chris said he wanted treatment for drug addicts because being pro-life shouldn’t end at birth. And Marco said a woman has a real right to choose what to do with her body. I think we sounded pretty sane, don’t you?
Donald and Chris and Marco in New Hampshire
Dear Donald and Chris and Marco,
We think your memories are a bit selective. For example, Donald also said he would “bring back waterboarding and a hell of a lot more,” and Marco replied that he wouldn’t “the exact tactics that we’re going to use, because it allows terrorists and others to practice how to evade us.” From this we infer that he would not only torture suspected terrorists but also others as well.
Meanwhile, Chris accused Marco of “truancy” for missing Senate votes, and of using a “memorized 25-second speech” when Marco repeated the same canned lines again and again. Marco flipped from supporting Denver to supporting Carolina in the Super Bowl because he heard that Peyton Manning supports Jeb Bush, and Donald kept peddling the conspiracy theory that Ted Cruz stole Ben Carson’s votes in Iowa, even though Carson outperformed his pre-caucus polls.
We conclude that you may not be completely crazy … but you’re mostly crazy.
Dear Ms. Crissie,
Is New Hampshire Clam Chowder Casserole a breakfast recipe? Also, how do I make it?
Clammy for Breakfast in Blogistan
Dear Clammy for Breakfast,
New Hampshire Clam Chowder Casserole isn’t listed as a breakfast recipe, but Chef thinks any good meal can be a good breakfast. To make it, first boil 8 ounces of elbow macaroni for 8-10 minutes until al dente and drain. Then mix the macaroni in a large bowl together with 1½ cups of shredded cheddar cheese, 2 10.75-ounce cans of condensed cream of potato soup, 3 6.5-ounce cans of chopped clams with their juice, 2 beaten eggs, 1 diced green onion, ¼ cup of diced onion, ¼ cup of bacon bits, 1 Tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce, 1 teaspoon of lemon juice, and 1 teaspoon of black pepper. Pour the mixture into a large casserole dish and top with ½ cup of shredded cheddar cheese, then bake at 350º for 30 minutes, until the cheese topping is melted and bubbling. Bon appétit!
Photo Credit: ABC News