The resident faculty left an odd photo outside the mail room this morning. The staff don’t often see the doubles format of that sport, and we think it’s a clue…. (More)

“I didn’t know there was a doubles form of table tennis,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said, looking at the photo left by the resident faculty when they made their way from the wine cellar library, where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”), to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference.

“It seems like doubles table tennis would be … crowded,” Chef said as she brought out the decoder ring.

 photo SquirrelPecanRing.jpeg

The Squirrel tapped at his Blewberry. “Not for us. Also, we don’t call it table tennis. We just call it tennis.”

“Let me guess,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said. “Squirrels invented tennis.”

“Umm, no,” the Squirrel texted. “I mean, we batted walnuts back and forth over a tree root, but we just used our paws. Maybe humans saw squirrels do that and thought it would be more fun with racquets and a net. But squirrels didn’t use racquets or a net until humans invented those tables.”

“Where do you get the racquets?” Chef asked.

The Squirrel tapped and scrolled on his Blewberry. “Humans make little toy tennis racquets. We use those, with the ping pong ball.”

“So it’s a new sport for you,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said.

“Yep,” the Squirrel texted. “But we have tournaments now. This year we’re hosting the inaugural New Venerable Hall Rec Room Open.”

“Who is ‘we?'” Chef asked.

The Squirrel twitched his tail and tapped at his Blewberry. “Well….”

“It’s fine,” Chef said. “I’ll even put out snacks for you. But first we have to decipher this week’s clue.”

“Okay,” the Squirrel texted. “Well, it’s pretty straightforward. The Iowa caucuses are tonight so we’ll bounce around news. But some mornings will be me in Mixed Nuts and some will be the resident faculty in Morning Feature.”

“Thus the doubles format,” Chef said.

The Professor of Astrology Janitor nodded. “Maybe the news from Iowa will make Saturday’s WHannabe WHinefest less … crowded.”

We can hope….


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Photo Credit: Associated Press


Happy Monday!