“I apologize for what I did,” Professor Plum said as he came into the mail room, “and I want a full investigation … in case you did it too.”

He read the mail…. (More)

Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor wondered if Chef was bluffing too. The Professor of Astrology Janitor opened the pot by calling the big blind with the Eight of Clubs and Deuce of Hearts. Just because. Chef raised, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor reraised, as he would if he held a pair of Aces. Chef pondered for a long moment and finally called.

The flop brought the Ace and Jack of Diamonds, along with the Seven of Spades. The Professor of Astrology Janitor checked and then raised Chef’s bet. Chef stared him down and finally spoke. “I know you have nothing. The only question is whether your nothing is better than my nothing.”

“Probably not,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said, honestly.

“That told me everything I needed to know,” Chef said, flashing her Eight and Six of Hearts and shaking her head as the Professor of Astrology Janitor showed his hand. “Nope. You can’t get the Seven-Deuce bonus with an Eight-Deuce.”

The Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make New Hampshire Red Flannel Hash Browns, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

I’m sorry for what my campaign staffers did. Not only do I apologize to Sec. Clinton, and I hope we can work together on an independent investigation from day one. I want to apologize to my supporters. This is not the type of campaign that we run. And if I find anybody else involved in this, they will also be fired. I look forward to working with Sec. Clinton for an investigation, an independent investigation about all of the breaches that have occurred from day one in this campaign because I am not convinced that information from our campaign may not have ended up in her campaign. Don’t know that. But we need an independent investigation, and I hope Sec. Clinton will agree with me for the need of that.

Bernie in VT

Dear Bernie,

We applaud your apology, and your quick action to dismiss the staffers who were responsible for this unethical behavior. That said, we wonder why you chose to tacitly accuse the Clinton campaign of having done the same thing your staffers did. Based on what we know so far, your staffers took advantage of a 30-minute firewall glitch in the VoteBuilder database. You have no evidence that any Clinton staffers were accessing VoteBuilder during that half-hour, or that any of them accessed your campaign data. We note that the DNC has already restored your campaign’s access to VoteBuilder, and conclude that your implicit accusation against the Clinton campaign cheapens an otherwise well-stated apology.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

I don’t know why everyone’s upset about my question in last night’s debate. I said that for Americans who already had health insurance the cost has gone up 27 percent in the last five years while deductibles are up 67 percent, health care costs are rising faster than many Americans can manage. That’s true, so what’s the problem?

Martha in VA

Dear Martha,

As FactCheck noted back in February, this is a classic example of “true, but….” Yes, health insurance costs have risen as you described from 2009-2015. But the Affordable Care Act only took effect on January 1, 2014, so it did not apply for most of the period you cited. Moreover, the premium increases since 2009 – an average 33% – are less than half the average 78% increase from 2001 to 2009. Your question implies that the ACA caused health insurance costs to rise. But in fact, the ACA has dramatically slowed the growth of those costs. Either you didn’t know facts that have been publicly available for months, or you carefully crafted your question to deceive people who didn’t know those facts. We won’t draw a conclusion … but others may.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Will New Hampshire Red Flannel Hash Browns keep me as warm as red flannel pajamas? And how do I make them? The hash browns, not the pajamas….

Bundled for Breakfast in Blogistan

Dear Bundled for Breakfast,

Yes, New Hampshire Red Flannel Hash Browns will keep you warm. To make them, first boil 5 cubed potatoes for 15-20 minutes, until softened. Then shred the potatoes with a grater along with 2 15-ounce cans of beets. Stir in salt and pepper to taste and fry in a buttered skillet until browned on both sides. Chef seasons these with a pat of butter and a tiny splash of red wine vinegar. Bon app├ętit!

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Photo Credit: Jim Cole (AP)

Bernie in VT.

Martha in VA; as FactCheck noted back in February.

New Hampshire Red Flannel Hash Browns.

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Happy Sunday!