“Whatcha doin’, hon?” Tom asked.
“Eating bread crumbs,” Tonya replied. “I figured I might as well stuff myself.” (More)
Midday Matinee is our people watching, people doing and people being feature. Join the Woodland Creatures for an afternoon break.
Welcome back to Tuesday’s Tale, a weekly feature where we collaborate to write a story. Previous Tuesday’s Tales include Did You Hear That? and Holiday Straws. We follow the basic rules of the “Yes, And” improvisational game – accept everything written so far as part of the story, and add your own paragraph (or so) where the last addition left off – except you needn’t begin your addition with “Yes, and.” I’ll start the story….
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Tom’s waddle wiggled as he shook his head. “Sweetie, we’re way out here in the woods. We’re not going to end up on someone’s Thanksgiving table.”
Tonya looked up. “That’s what Terrie said last year. Notice she’s not here to say it again this year.”
Ted sighed and fluffed his feathers. “Gee, thanks for reminding me of that.”
“The point is,” Tom said, “we moved further into the woods this year. And I haven’t heard any hunters.”
“We wouldn’t hear them,” Tonya said, “not with you talking all the time.”
Ted peeked over his left wing, and then his right. “No, Tom’s right. I think we’re safe out here.”
“Then where,” Tonya asked, “did these bread crumbs come from?”
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Have fun!
Tom gasped. “That’s a point! Were they all in one place or trailed out?”
“What difference would it make,” Ted asked. “All in one place means the hunter is watching here. If he gets me, I want to be deep fried.”
Tonya gobbled. “Don’t wish such a thing.”
“Why?” Ted asked. “You’d rather be roasted?”
“Uh, guys,” said Tom, “don’t you think we should skedaddle?”
“To where,” Tonya groaned. “I’m too full to fly now.”
Ted turned to Tom. “Maybe together we can lift her into one of the trees. It’s illegal to shoot a roosting turkey.”
“When did you become a lawyer?” Tonya asked, trying to waddle away from the breadcrumbs.
“When I watched Northwoods Law. So if we can get her into the trees, no one could shoot her.”
Tonya eyed the bread crumbs sadly. “I hate to waste good food. And who says the guy who did this would leave me alone because I’m roosting?”
Tom groaned. “Tonya, please.”
“Get her out of here,” said Ted. “I’ll do the deep fryer to save her.”
“The bread crumbs could just be some kids who read Hansel and Gretel and are simply marking their trail,” said Ted. “They could have nothing to do with hunters.”
“Hansel and Gretel ended up stuffed into the oven by a wicked old woman who lived in the woods,” said Tonya. “Sure they got saved but they weren’t treated any better than most turkeys. Heck, they weren’t even stuffed first.”
“Speaking of that” asked Tom “do deep fried turkeys get stuffed first or do they hit the burning oil naked? I want to know.”
Ted said, “You’ll be dead first so what difference does it make? I think they behead you first and then strip off the feathers. Need more details or is that enough for you?”
“TMI, definitely TMI,” said Tonya. “I prefer to think of myself free to roam in the woods and enjoy this beautiful fall day.”
At that moment Barney the Bear lumbered out of the woods. “What are you birds doing here? Volunteering to decorate someone’s table on Thanksgiving?”
“We were just discussing whether these bread crumbs are a threat,” said Ted, ruffling his feathers in annoyance.
“Oh, I can tell you. They leave out donuts for me when they want bear meat. Of course that’s meant to keep you here until they shoot you. Say, if you want, I’ll hang around and scare them off while you get away.”
Ted thanked the bear and the turkeys ambled farther into the woods. In spite of requests from Ted and Tonya, Tom was unable to remain quiet. He kept talking.
“Too bad Ben Franklin didn’t get his way,” said Tom. “If he had we could have been the national bird instead of the eagle. Maybe we’d be safe from the Thanksgiving table if Ben had won.”
Tonya rolled her eyes. “We were being eaten when those first pilgrims arrived. Do you really think Americans would be eating roasted eagle on Thanksgiving?
Get a grip, Tom. Even not on the menu they almost wiped out the eagles.”
Just then the bear apparently began loudly slapping the ground and grunting.
When Tonya heard the series of grunts, she flew up into the trees. Ted and Tom followed. All three were quiet and listening intently.
“Did ya scare ’em off?” Betty asked.
Barney nodded. “Yep. Gave ’em the story about the hunter and the donuts.”
Betty chuckled. “Turkeys really are kinda stu–”
“Excuse me?” Tom asked, waddling back into the clearing. “Kinda what?”
Betty didn’t blush, but only because bears can’t. “Umm….”
“And what’s in that bowl?” Tonya asked, pointing an accusatory wing from the branch.
“Uhh….” Betty attempted.
“Oh I’ll tell ’em,” Barney said. He looked up at Tonya. “It’s cranberry sauce.”