The resident faculty left an intriguing photo outside the mail room this morning. Or maybe the Squirrel left it. Either way, the staff think it was a clue…. (More)

“So that’s their clue, huh?” the Professor of Astrology Janitor asked as he looked at the photo left by the resident faculty as they made their way from the wine cellar library, where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”), to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference.

“I wonder if the resident faculty even left that clue,” Chef said as she brought out the decoder ring.

 photo SquirrelPecanRing.jpeg

The Squirrel twitched his tail and tapped at his Blewberry. “What are you saying?”

“Just that it’s the kind of thing you might find,” Chef said. “Is this the part where you explain why squirrels saved the early mammals from dinosaurs?”

“Umm, nope,” the Squirrel texted. “We were the first mammals.”

“Besides,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said, “a squirrel would’ve been dinner for a real T-Rex.”

The Squirrel huffed and tapped at his Blewberry. “Probably not. The T-Rex was huge, so it couldn’t run all that fast. Squirrels could outrun them.”

“With those long legs,” Chef said, “I would think T-Rex ran faster.”

“It turns out there’s science on that,” the Squirrel texted. “Strength increases with the cross-sectional area of muscle groups. but body mass is a function of the volume. Area is a square function. Volume is a cube function. So the strength-to-weight ratio decreases as an animal gets bigger. An average human could outrun an average T-Rex, and an average squirrel is faster than an average human. Plus we can dash up and hide in trees.”

“So this week will be about why squirrels are better than dinosaurs?” Chef asked.

The Squirrel shook his head and tapped at his Blewberry. “Nope. That was the resident faculty’s way of saying they’re taking the week off. So I’ll dash around the news with Mixed Nuts.”

“Very nimbly, because you’re small,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said.

“And because he’s smart,” Chef said.

The Squirrel might have blushed, but he’s a red squirrel so it’s hard to be sure….


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Photo Credit: Max Ellis (Hot Spot Media)


Happy Monday!