“I earned the name Plum,” Professor Plum said, “by choosing the right parents.”

He read the mail…. (More)

Professor Plum then took Ms. Scarlet’s hand and they left to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor waited for Chef to bet. After Chef opened the pot by calling the big blind, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor put in a small raise with the Five and Four of Hearts. Chef offered a half-pot-sized reraise, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor called. The flop brought the Six, Three, and Deuce of Hearts, giving the Professor of Astrology Janitor an unbeatable straight flush. He checked and Chef checked in reply. The Jack of Hearts fell on the turn, and once again the Professor of Astrology Janitor checked, hoping Chef had the Ace of Hearts and what she thought would be a winning flush. But again, Chef checked. The Ace of Diamonds came at the river, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor checked his straight flush for the third time, hoping Chef would bet with what was certainly at least pair of Aces.

“I’m not going to bet into your flush, even with these,” Chef said as she turned over two black Aces.

“I earned more than this,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said as he showed his straight flush and scooped in the meager pot.

The Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to check her Slow Cooker Breakfast Casserole, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

+++++

Dear Ms. Crissie,

I get the concern about dynastic politics. I’m gonna have to earn this. Maybe the barrier, the bar’s even higher for me. That’s fine. I’ve got a record in Florida…. We were, we had, we balanced every budget…. They called me Veto Corleone because I vetoed 2,500 separate line-items in the budget…. I am my own man.

Jeb in FL

Dear Jeb,

We applaud your imagination. However, we note that your nickname is Jeb because those are your initials. Your full name is John Ellis Bush, given to you by your parents. Similarly, much of the record you cite as Governor of Florida owes to policies you inherited. For example, unlike the U.S. Constitution, the Florida Constitution requires each year’s budget to be balanced. Similarly, and also unlike the U.S. Constitution, the Florida Constitution authorizes the line-item veto. Those Florida constitutional amendments were enacted in the same 1998 election that put you in the governor’s mansion, so you can hardly claim credit for them.

Finally, we note that GOP leaders wooed you into this year’s presidential race and you remain the odds-on favorite to win your party’s nomination – despite what even supporters lament has been a gaffe-plagued campaign, including this week’s claim that we spend too much on women’s health – precisely because your father and brother were the last two Republicans to be elected President of the United States. We conclude that “the barrier, the bar” could only be lower if those party leaders had instead wooed your brother Neil.

+++++

Dear Ms. Crissie,

I’m surprised you didn’t get a letter from Donald in NY defending his vile sexism against Fox News GOP Debate moderator Megyn Kelly. On the other hand, who needs that over breakfast? Speaking of, how do I make Chef’s Slow Cooker Breakfast Casserole?

Recovering My Appetite in Blogistan

Dear Recovering My Appetite,

We understand why Donald in NY’s latest, noxious comment upset your appetite. We crumpled his letter in disgust and threw it in the garbage.

As for the Slow Cooker Breakfast Casserole, the recipe comes from Nancy Wilson, author of the Mama’s Legacy cookbooks. To make her recipe, first cook and crumble 1 pound of mild breakfast sausage. Next spread ⅓ of a package of frozen hash browns in the bottom of a slow cooker, then sprinkle over ⅓ package of grated Cheddar cheese, and top with ⅓ of the sausage. Repeat the layers until the cooker is full. Next whisk 8 eggs in a bowl and mix with ¼ cup half-and-half, then pour the egg mixture evenly over the top layer in the cooker. Cook all night (7-10 hours) on low heat, then serve with a dollop of sour cream. Bon appétit!

+++++

Photo Credit: NBC Today

Sources:

Jeb in FL; requires each year’s budget to be balanced; line-item veto; GOP leaders wooed you into the race; odds-on favorite to win the nomination; a gaffe-plagued campaign; this week’s claim that we spend too much on women’s health. (H/T Dylan Matthews, Vox.)

Recovering My Appetite in Blogistan.

Slow Cooker Breakfast Casserole recipe.

+++++

Happy Sunday!