The resident faculty left a cute photo outside the mail room. Even the Squirrel isn’t that young, so the staff think it was a clue…. (More)
First our thanks to last week’s writers:
On Tuesday, Lake Toba discussed The Confederate Flag and Our History of Political Violence in Morning Feature and readers helped tell Tuesday’s Tale: Tennish in Midday Matinee.
On the weekend, the Squirrel dug up Sports Sexism, Maine Madness, and Other Mixed Nuts (Plus Good News Nuggets!) in Saturday’s Morning Feature and Ms. Crissie was asked Got a JADE Gut HELM Feeling? in Sunday’s Morning Feature.
Note: Please share your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week.
Thus we return to the photo left by the resident faculty made their way from the
wine cellar library where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference:
“I don’t even remember being that young, or that cute,” Chef said as she brought out the decoder ring.
The Squirrel gave Chef a look and tapped at his Blewberry. “Don’t be mean to yourself. You’re still cute.”
Professor of Astrology Janitor nodded agreement.
“You’re making me blush,” Chef said as she scraped stray pecans into the Squirrel’s bowl. “What change are the resident faculty discussing this week?”
The Squirrel shook his head and returned to his Blewberry. “Actually The Change is today’s topic.”
“I thought deciphering their clue was today’s topic,” the
Professor of Astrology Janitor said. “That’s what Meta Mondays are always about.”
“They were,” the Squirrel texted, “and they will be again, starting next week. But today I’m supposed to announce the resident faculty’s plans for The Change.”
“Uh oh,” Chef said.
“No no,” the Squirrel texted. “We’ll all keep our jobs.”
Professor of Astrology Janitor said as Chef handed him a slice of pecan ring. “And thank you. So what are they changing?”
The Squirrel fluffed his tail and tapped at his Blewberry. “I think I’ve been promoted. The resident faculty like my mixed nuts.”
Chef chuckled. “You mean they like letting you write while they spend more time in the
wine celler library, or in the hot tub faculty lounge.”
“I prefer to think of it as a promotion,” the Squirrel said. “Anyway, The Change is that most days we’ll have Mixed Nuts, with nuggets from the day’s news like I’ve been doing. But the resident faculty want me to write shorter articles, so each news nugget will have an opening paragraph with several links, like Campus Question, and a paragraph of analysis. With two or three nuggets, a bowl of Mixed Nuts should be about 400-600 words. If it’s a busy morning and I have more nuggets to share, I’ll put out extra bowls.”
“Extra articles, you mean?” the
Professor of Astrology Janitor asked. “In that Mixed Nuts format?”
“That’s the plan,” the Squirrel texted.
“Wait,” Chef said. “Will there still be a Morning Feature every day?”
The Squirrel shook his head and tapped at his Blewberry. “Not every day. There will still be a Morning Feature when the resident faculty have a series topic, or if guest writers want to discuss an issue in depth. But when it’s just bouncing around the news, I’ll do Mixed Nuts.”
“Will Ms. Crissie still review the week’s mail on Sundays?” the
Professor of Astrology Janitor asked. “I need that to calm down after losing in the staff poker game.”
“You don’t always lose,” Chef said. She looked at the Squirrel. “But I do like sharing breakfast recipes.”
“Sundays won’t change,” the Squirrel texted. “And we’ll still have Meta Mondays, to review the last week and preview the Morning Feature topic, if the resident faculty have one.”
Chef pulled her lips to the side, pondering The Change. “I guess that doesn’t sound too drastic. And you’re right, it is a promotion.”
“Did you get a raise too?” the
Professor of Astrology Janitor asked.
The Squirrel harrumphed and tapped at his Blewberry. “They doubled my salary.”
And zero times two equals….