Outside the mail room, the resident faculty left an old-fashioned white wig with a hair tie that read “WWTJD?” The staff hope it was a clue…. (More)

First our thanks to last week’s writers:

On Monday, you shared your stories of political activism in Things We Did This Week, Linda Lee used The “Mom Voice” in Midday Matinee, and Winter B warned of Toxins Killing Turtles Off Long Island in Our Earth.

On Tuesday, the Squirrel discussed The Democratic Primary and Other Mixed Nuts in Morning Feature, readers helped tell Tuesday’s Tale: Peck Peck Peck in Midday Matinee, and Winter B celebrated Hurricane Predictions Get Better in Our Earth.

On Wednesday, the Squirrel offered The Proverbial Box of Not-Mixed-Nuts in Morning Feature and Linda Lee mused on Caitlyn Jenner in Midday Matinee.

On Thursday, the resident faculty explored The Transparency Con in Morning Feature and triciawyse brought us Fursdai Furries in Midday Matinee.

On Friday, the resident faculty discussed Working Class Whites to Democrats: First, Make Government Work in Morning Feature and triciawyse shared Friedai Critters in Midday Matinee.

On the weekend, the Squirrel pondered The Plural of Apocalypse, Caitlyn Jenner, and Other Mixed Nuts in Saturday’s Morning Feature, Ms. Crissie was asked “I Can Vote With the 98.1 Percent?” in Sunday’s Morning Feature, and Winter B brought our weekly Eco News Roundup in Our Earth.


Note: Please share your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week.


Thus we return to the old-fashioned white wig and hair tie left outside the mail room as the resident faculty made their way from the wine cellar library where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference. The hair tie read:


“Did Jesus wear a white wig?” Chef asked as she brought out the decoder ring.

 photo SquirrelPecanRing.jpeg

The Squirrel shook his head and tapped at his Blewberry. “This hair tie doesn’t have WWJD. It has WWTJD.”

The Jesus?” the Professor of Astrology Janitor asked.

Chef shrugged. “I think there’s only one.”

“Actually,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said, “Jesus is a very popular Hispanic name.”

The Squirrel tapped his paws patiently.

“True,” Chef agreed as she scraped stray pecans into the Squirrel’s bowl. “So it could be The Jesus. But again, did he wear a white wig?”

“I don’t remember it from any Bible stories,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said, “but the gospel writers didn’t record every detail. Maybe he wore a costume at that wedding feast or something.”

The Squirrel twitched his tail and peered at the bowl of pecans.

Proverbs says gray hair is a crown of glory, gained in a righteous life,” Chef said as she slid the bowl across the table, “so maybe The Jesus did wear a white wig.”

“So we should all wear white wigs,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor asked, “because What Would The Jesus Do?”

The Squirrel nibbled a pecan.

“I think before we all get white wigs,” Chef said, “we need better evidence that The Jesus wore one.”

The Squirrel gave up and tapped at his Blewberry. “TJ is not The Jesus. TJ is Thomas Jefferson.”

Chef looked at the Squirrel. “Thomas Jefferson is not in the Bible.”

“But he edited a Bible,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said, “by taking out all the miracles and other parts about The Jesus’ divinity.”

“And adding a white wig?” Chef asked.

The Squirrel sighed and tapped at his Blewberry. “This. Week. Is. Not. About. Jesus. WWTJD stands for ‘What Would Thomas Jefferson Do?’ This week the resident faculty will discuss The Jefferson Rule, David Sehat’s new book about how Thomas Jefferson created the myth of a unified Founding Fathers. In fact many of the Framers disagreed with Jefferson, and over the course of his career Jefferson took almost every side of almost every issue. But even today people talk as if God revealed the Constitution to Jefferson on stone tablets.”

Chef shook her head. “Jefferson didn’t attend the Constitutional Convention.”

The Professor of Astrology Janitor nodded. “He was shopping for a new white wig, because The Jesus said his old one was dirty.”

The Squirrel nibbled another pecan.

“I don’t think he believes us,” Chef said.

The Squirrel tapped at his Blewberry: “WWYLMRCD?”

“What Would Your Lowly Mail Room Clerk Do?” we asked.

The Squirrel nodded.

We would share the pecans.


Happy Monday!