“I think everyone wants the same things I do,” Professor Plum said as he walked into the mail room.

He read the mail…. (More)

Ms. Scarlet took Professor Plum’s hand and they left to rejoin the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, to spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor was sure Chef was bluffing. Chef opened by calling the big blind and the Professor of Astrology Janitor checked his Seven of Clubs and Six of Hearts. The flop brought the Ten of Spades and the Eight and Three of Clubs. The Professor of Astrology Janitor checked and Chef checked behind him. The Queen of Clubs fell on the turn and the Professor of Astrology Janitor put in the minimum bet with his inside straight and Club flush draws. Chef considered for a moment and then called. The Nine of Diamonds on the river gave the Professor of Astrology Janitor a Ten-high straight. He made another minimum bet, but this time Chef put in a pot-sized raise.

The Professor of Astrology Janitor was sure Chef would have raised before the flop with a suited Ace, so she didn’t have an Ace-high Club flush. She would have raised any other flush at the turn, in case he had the Ace. So she didn’t have a flush. Any Jack would give her a Queen-high straight, but he didn’t think she would bet a straight that hard with a possible flush on board. That left a bluff, or at least a half-bluff. For example, she might have called the big blind with a pair of Eights, checked three-of-a-kind at the flop to let him catch something at the turn, and think he was bluffing or betting a beaten hand.

“I call,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said.

“Ugh,” Chef said, turning over her King of Diamonds and Jack of Hearts for a King-high straight, “you did have Clubs.”

He turned over his cards. “I thought you were doing what I was doing.”

The Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef left for the kitchen to make Mirrored Ball Eggs, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

I know what’s really happening in Baltimore. Barack Obama believes in the redistribution of wealth, he believes in the redistribution of power, so if he can keep these blacks angry and under his control by stroking them, they’re going to bring the chaos. And once the chaos comes, then Barack Obama, as he said in his speech, he can federalize the police departments around the country so that he can redistribute the power and wealth. That’s what this is all about. He is pulling their strings by stroking their egos and making the feel good about being wrong for his own personal gain.

Jesse Lee in CA

Dear Jesse Lee,

We applaud you for revealing the motive for conservatives’ defense of police brutality. We agree that President Obama wants to empower persons of color, though we disagree that he wants that “for his own personal gain.” Rather, he recognizes that too many Americans have been marginalized and their communities plundered, and that too many police departments have been instruments of that plunder. Conservatives want to maintain the status quo of wealth and power by continuing to plunder those communities and – in your hierarchical worldview – the only alternative to plundering others is to be plundered … what you call “the chaos.”

We note you have previously said that African-Americans “should be grateful for slavery,” that health care reform was “destroying America [by] redistribution of wealth,” and that letting women vote was “one of America’s greatest mistakes.” Each of those claims makes perfect sense, if you presume that every society must have a hierarchy and those now in power belong at the top of that hierarchy. We conclude that your comments reveal nothing about President Obama … but those comments reveal a great deal about the motives of conservatives like you.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

I get that I could color hard-boiled eggs with reflective paint, but wouldn’t that taint the eggs? If so, how do I make Mirrored Ball Eggs?

Reflecting on Breakfast in Blogistan

Dear Reflecting on Breakfast,

Chef agrees that you should never eat eggs that have been painted, and that’s why her recipe begins by blowing out the eggs. To do that, make a tiny hole in the top of the egg and a larger hole in the bottom. Push a long, sterile needle up through the bottom hole and swirl it inside to puncture and stir the yolk and white together. Then hold the egg over a bowl and blow firmly on the top hole. The mixed yolk and white will squirt out the bottom, ready to be cooked as scrambled eggs. Paint the egg shell with Mod Podge® Pearl Topcoat, sprinkle with silver glitter, let it dry for an hour, and add another coat to seal the sparkly finish. Chef presents the Mirrored Ball Eggs on a separate plate, to ensure they don’t taint the scrambled eggs. Bon appétit!

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Sources:

Jesse Lee in CA; African-Americans “should be grateful for slavery”; destroying America [by] redistribution of wealth”; allowing women to vote was “one of America’s greatest mistakes”.

Mirrored Ball Eggs; Mod Podge® Pearl Topcoat.

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Happy Sunday!