Today in history, greetings, and social banter here. (More)

Ferdinand Magellan reached Guam today (1521). Also, the First Fleet landed at Norfolk Island to found a penal colony (1788), President James Monroe signed the Missouri Compromise (1820), York, Upper Canada was incorporated as Toronto (1834), Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie were among those killed as Santa Anna’s army captured the Alamo (1836), the U.S. Supreme Court held in Dred Scott v. Sandford that black Americans could not be U.S. citizens or file suits in federal court (1857), Dmitri Mendeleev presented the first Periodic Table of the Elements to the Russian Chemical Society (1869), the Kingdom of Serbia was reestablished (1882), Bayer trademarked the term “Aspirin” (1899), Real Madrid Football Club was founded (1902), Julius and Ethel Rosenberg went on trial for espionage (1951), Ghana gained independence (1954), 40 people would die over three days as the Ash Wednesday Storm struck the Northeast U.S. (1962), Cassius Clay became Muhammad Ali (1964), Svetlana Alliluyeva, Josef Stalin’s daughter, defected to the U.S. (1967), Mexican-American students protested unequal public education with the East L.A. Walkouts (1968), ABC’s Good Night America broadcast the Zapruder Film, the first time the general public saw the footage of the assassination of President John Kennedy (1975), Walter Cronkite retired after 19 years anchoring the CBS Evening News (1981), 193 people died when the British ferry MS Herald of Free Enterprise capsized and sank moments after leaving the Belgian port of Zeebrugge (1987), Ed Yielding and Joseph Vida set the transcontinental speed record, flying from Los Angeles to Virginia in 64 minutes in an SR-71 Blackbird (1990), and the dormant Michelangelo virus began to overwrite computers’ hard drives (1992). And 68 people were killed when two suicide bombers struck a market in Baghdad, on the same day 8 students were killed when a gunman opened fire at the Mercaz HaRav Yeshiva in Jerusalem (2008).

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The Janitor Professor of Astrology was not watching Roadrunner cartoons while researching this week’s Bippiescopes….

Pisces: Perform a reality check this weekend. Include gravity.

Aries: Don’t promise too much to deliver this weekend. Call ACME.

Taurus: Be true to yourself this weekend. You might catch it.

Gemini: Don’t complain this weekend. It barely got away last time.

Cancer: Take responsibility for your actions this weekend. Blink plaintively.

Leo: Accept things as they are this weekend. Except for that tunnel.

Virgo: Take the high road this weekend. But watch for the cliff.

Libra: Fantasies remain out of reach this weekend. Try laying a trap.

Scorpio: Don’t embellish this weekend. A simple pit should do.

Sagittarius: Adjust your perspective this weekend. Paint it road-colored

Capricorn: Deliver on commitments this weekend. Use ACME paint.

Aquarius: See life as it is this weekend. Then fall in. Beep-beep!

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Yesterday on Campus

Morning FeatureWho Else But Hillary? Part I: The Senators
Campus QuestionCough, cough, cough, cough-cough, HA!, beep-beep?

Today on Campus

Morning FeatureWho Else But Hillary? Part II: A Deep Bench
Campus Question at 6pm ET

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Good morning! ::hugggggs::