The resident faculty left a chart of the bounciness of various balls outside the mail room this morning. Either they want BPI to start an athletic department or this was their weekly clue…. (More)

First our thanks to last week’s writers:

On Monday, you shared your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week and addisnana shared I Am One-Sided in Midday Matinee.

On Tuesday, the Squirrel listicled 5 Reasons to Vote Today and 2 Reasons Not To in Morning Feature and readers helped tell Ballot Ballet in Midday Matinee.

On Wednesday, the resident faculty said Ouch! in Morning Feature and addisnana celebrated 14 Hours of Hope in Midday Matinee.

On Thursday, the resident faculty considered “A Standpoint of Status” in Morning Feature and triciawyse brought us Fursdai Furries in Midday Matinee.

On Friday, the resident faculty looked at Turning Turnout Around: Coalitions and Commitment in Morning Feature and triciawyse shared Friedai Critters in Midday Matinee.

On Saturday, the resident faculty offered Learning Our Lessons and Moving On in Saturday’s Morning Feature, Ms. Crissie was asked Enemies List? in Sunday’s Morning Feature, and Winter B brought our weekly Eco News Roundup in Our Earth.

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Note: Please share your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week.

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Thus we return to the chart left outside the mail room as the resident faculty made their way from the wine cellar library where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference:

“Dat duzzint hab mei spongee balls,” Pootie the Precious tapped on her iHazPhone.

“No, it doesn’t. And would have guessed that ping pong balls were bouncier,” Chef said as brought out the decoder ring:

 photo SquirrelPecanRing.jpeg

“Do dey bowncez moar dan mai spongee balls?” Pootie the Precious texted.

The Squirrel nodded and tapped at his Blewberry. “I’m pretty sure they do. Plus you can’t bite a ping pong ball. Well, you could if your mouth was bigger, but the ping pong ball would just break.”

“Dats no fun,” Pootie the Precious replied.

“And that’s why we give you spongee balls instead,” Chef said to Pootie P, while she scraped stray pecans into the Squirrel’s bowl.

He eyed the bowl and tapped at his Blewberry. “I didn’t even have to listen outside the faculty lounge hot tub squirrel bath for this. They’re going to bounce around the news again this week.”

Chef arched an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Maybe you should go out and check.”

He looked at the bowl and back at her.

“I’ll save these for you,” she assured him.

He shrugged and hopped off the table and out the door. A few minutes later he returned, flicking water off his tail.

“Is it raining?” the Professor of Astrology Janitor asked.

The Squirrel shook his head and tapped at his Blewberry. “No, it’s just dew. Lots and lots and lots of dew.”

Chef offered him the towel she kept over her shoulder and he rolled around in it.

“Ai cuddiv likked u kleen,” Pootie the Precious texted on her iHazPhone.

“I was already clean,” the Squirrel texted back. “I was just wet. And I’m glad I went out. It turns out the resident faculty aren’t planning to bounce around the news. They’re going to talk about how to bounce back after disappointment.”

“Then I’m glad you checked too,” Chef said as she slid the bowl of pecans to him. “Otherwise we’d have been disappointed.”

“And then we’d have to bounce back,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said.

“Liek mai spongee ballz,” Pootie the Precious texted.

The Squirrel nibbled a pecan and tapped at his Blewberry. “But bouncier, I hope.”

We hope so too.

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Happy Monday!