The resident faculty left the box score for yesterday’s Giants-Cowboys game outside the mail room, and highlighted the stadium attendance: 91,028. The staff weren’t at the game, but we think it was a clue…. (More)

First our thanks to last week’s writers:

On Monday, you shared your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week and Linda Lee pondered Hiding Out … in a Cave in Midday Matinee.

On Tuesday, the Squirrel offered 5 (Or Maybe 6) Clickable Listicles in Morning Feature and readers helped tell Tuesday’s Tale: Phonosynthesis in Midday Matinee.

On Wednesday, the Squirrel chittered Pentagon Hid Risks and Casualties from Iraq’s Old Chemical Weapons (Or: See? Bush Was Right!) in Morning Feature and Linda Lee celebrated A Canvassing Party in Midday Matinee.

On Thursday, the resident faculty discussed Republican Voter Tribalism in Morning Feature and triciawyse shared Fursdai Furries in Midday Matinee.

On Friday, the resident faculty ranted It’s Never About Race. Honest. in Morning Feature and triciawyse brought us Friedai Critters in Midday Matinee.

On the weekend, the resident faculty explored Fertilization and Philanthropy in Saturday’s Morning Feature, Ms. Crissie was asked Do You Have Ebola Yet? in Sunday’s Morning Feature, and Winter B brought our weekly Eco News Roundup in Our Earth.


Note: Please share your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week.


Thus we return to the box score left outside the mail room as the resident faculty made their way from the wine cellar library where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference.

The Cowboys defeated the Giants 31-21 yesterday, and the box score offers all of the individual and team statistics. The resident faculty highlighted the number at the very bottom of the box score:

Attendance: 91,028

“Do they use that to calculate the Twelfth Man Effect?” Chef asked as she brought out the decoder ring:

 photo SquirrelPecanRing.jpeg

The Squirrel shrugged and tapped at his Blewberry. “I don’t know, but the Cowboys lead the league in attendance. Yesterday’s crowd was only 106 below their season average.”

“Huh,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said. “You wouldn’t expect so many Dallas fans in New York.”

The Squirrel shook his head and texted. “The game was played in Dallas.”

Chef paused from tapping stray pecans into the Squirrel’s bowl. “What? The NFL had a game in Dallas? Didn’t they know that 40% of Americans believe they’re at risk of getting Ebola and most Republicans in red states like Texas think the government isn’t doing enough to stop the disease? Didn’t they watch the Sunday morning news shows, where it was Wall to Wall Ebola?”

“I guess not,” the Squirrel texted. “The NFL sent out an informational letter last Monday, basically telling team doctors and trainers to “stick to the basics” when talking to players about Ebola, because the players shouldn’t be at risk. The Giants briefed their players and staff on Tuesday, but no one on either team was especially worried. I guess the fans weren’t either.”

“Hold on,” Chef said as she slid the Squirrel’s bowl of stray pecans across the table. “You’re telling me polls say Americans are panic-stricken about Ebola but the NFL told players and coaches not to worry and the players and coaches aren’t worried and the fans all came to the game anyway?”

The Squirrel noshed on a pecan and tapped at his Blewberry. “Not exactly. The polls don’t say most Americans are panicking about Ebola. Only Republicans are.”

“But surely there must be lots of Cowboys fans who are Republicans,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said. “Especially if you look at fans who can afford stadium tickets. So why would they pack themselves in with other people who might be coughing and spewing deadly germs all over?”

“I dunno,” the Squirrel texted. “Maybe there’s a difference between what people say and what people do. It’s easy to tell a pollster you’re worried about Ebola. But skipping a Cowboys home game? When they’re having a winning season? That’s a whole ‘nother thing.”

“So this week the resident faculty will talk about the difference between saying and doing?” Chef asked.

The Squirrel nodded and tapped at his Blewberry. “I guess so. I hope it’s not about football. Write a sentence. Huddle up and replay the previous sentence from six different angles, with a time out for ads. It’d take a month to get through a single Morning Feature.”

We’ll be back after this break.


Happy Monday!