The resident faculty left an old knock-knock joke outside the mail room this morning. As if there are any new knock-knock jokes. Still, we hope it was a clue…. (More)

First our thanks to last week’s writers:

On Monday, you shared your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week and Linda Lee wrote To the “I Don’t Vote” People in Midday Matinee.

On Tuesday, the Squirrel offered Another 100% Guaranteed Prediction in Morning Feature and readers helped tell Tuesday’s Tale: The Spy Who Came In from the Rain in Midday Matinee.

On Wednesday, the Squirrel collected another listicle with 5 Breakfast Grumpies and 1 Yummy Nut in Morning Feature and Linda Lee was Reading the Food Labels in Midday Matinee.

On Thursday, the resident faculty began their series on Climbing the Hill with Gravity Sucks in Morning Feature, Winter B shared When Cops Broke Into My Home in Furthermore!, and triciawyse brought us Fursdai Furries in Midday Matinee.

On Friday, the resident faculty continued their series on Climbing the Hill with “Shut Up, Legs” in Morning Feature and triciawyse shared Friedai Critters in Midday Matinee.

On the weekend, the resident faculty concluded their series on Climbing the Hill with Why We Climb in Saturday’s Morning Feature, Ms. Crissie was asked Your Vote Might Be Cancelled? in Sunday’s Morning Feature, and Winter B brought our weekly Eco News Roundup in Our Earth.

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Note: Please share your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week.

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Thus we return to knock-knock joke left outside the mail room as the resident faculty made their way from the wine cellar library where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference:

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange ya glad I didn’t say banana again?

Chef groaned as she brought out the decoder ring:

 photo SquirrelPecanRing.jpeg

“That joke was old when I was young,” the Squirrel texted on his Blewberry.

Chef chuckled as she tapped stray pecans into the Squirrel’s bowl. “It was also old when I was young.”

“Was it funny back then?” the Professor of Astrology Janitor asked.

“It depends on who told it,” Chef said as she slid the bowl over to the Squirrel. “If Penny Pennwiser told it, everyone laughed. If anyone else told it, everyone groaned.”

“Let me guess,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said. “Penny was the captain of the cheerleading team.”

“Not in third grade,” Chef said. “But yeah, in high school she was. Everyone loved her … pom poms.”

“The twins tried out for cheerleading,” the Squirrel texted on his Blewberry. “But they don’t have pom poms. They flick their tails.”

Chef winked. “Our cheerleaders did that too. So what’s this week’s topic?”

“Knock-knock,” the Squirrel texted.

Chef rolled her eyes. “Who’s there?”

The Squirrel tapped at his Blewberry. “Peanuts.”

“Peanuts who?” Chef asked.

“Knock-knock,” the Squirrel texted again.

Chef sighed. “Who’s there?”

“Almonds,” he texted.

“Almonds who?” Chef asked.

“Knock-knock,” he texted yet again.

Chef tapped her foot. “Who’s there?”

He tapped at his Blewberry. “Pecans.”

“Pecans who?” Chef obediently asked.

“Pecans we have a different topic every day this week?” the Squirrel texted.

Chef groaned.

“He should’ve asked Penny Pennwiser to tell that joke,” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said.

Chef shook her head. “Not even Penny’s pom poms could save that one.”

The Squirrel flicked his tail and texted. “Gimme a B!”

“No cheerleading,” Chef said. “But I’ll give you a macadamia.”

His favorite pom pom.

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Happy Monday!