You’ll be pleased to know that ReaganBook will reopen with new security to keep out “those intent on the destruction of life, liberty, and the family.”

Because they’re all about “freedom of speech.” (More)

I’ve explained before that squirrels invented Chitter, which humans turned into Twitter. We also had Tailbook before humans thought of Facebook, but we didn’t invent it. Dogs did. Seriously. Dogs leave complex messages in their pee as Michigan State microbiologist Kevin Theis explained in an article about his new study:

Scent posts are bulletin boards, pastes are business cards, and bacteria are the ink, shaped into letters and words that provide information about the paster to the boards’ visitors

Dogs’ pee messages include information like social status, sexual availability, and what they’ve eaten. Humans decided “peeing in public” was too honest, so they called it “social media” instead.

And humans found a way to make money on it. Take Sarah Palin, for example. She was “tired of media filters” – and looking for another way to move her followers’ money into her wallet – so she opened her own filtered media. Paraphrasing Palin’s FAQ, comic Stephen Colbert quipped:

It’s a safe space where like-minded folks can hear things they already agree with from someone whose opinion they already know.

He also opened a spoof site, “The only Sarah Palin channel on the internet with a definite article in the address!

Anyway, at Palin’s own highly-filtered media, for just $9.99 per month or $99 per year, you can get gems like her response to Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s speech at Netroots Nation:

We believe – wait, I thought fast food joints – don’t you guys think that they’re like of the devil or something? Liberals, you want to send those evil employees who would dare work at a fast food joint that you just don’t believe in – I don’t know, I thought you wanted to send them to purgatory or something. So they all go vegan. And wages and picket lines, I don’t know, they’re not often discussed in purgatory are they? I don’t know, why are you even worried about fast food wages? Well, we believe – an America where minimum wage jobs, they’re not lifetime gigs, they’re stepping stones to sustainable wages. It teaches work ethic.

I think that salad needs some dressing.

Alas, an all-Palin diet has been linked to verbal diarrhea, so a conservative activist named Janet Porter decided to launch a “Facebook for patriots” called ReaganBook, which stayed online for almost two days:

The site features a picture of Reagan’s smiling face colored in the hues of the American flag, next to a quote that functions as the social networking platform’s manifesto: “We built it, we paid for it, it’s ours and we’re going to keep it.” Take that, Zuckerberg.
[…]
ReaganBook shows no discernable signs of longevity. It’s already been forced to temporarily shut down, after many of its thousand-plus members are trolls calling themselves things like “Albradorft Lincler,” “Al Zheimers,” and “Ben Ghazi.”

Now the still-offline site says this:

Thank you to all those who participated in the pre-release of ReaganBook.com Your participation is helping us build a more secure site. Thank you! Please be patient while we make the necessary changes to keep the site free from obscenity, pornography, and those intent on the destruction of life, liberty, and the family. We will be opening the doors again soon with additional protections in place. As Reagan taught us, trust, but verify.

But she plans to reopen the site:

Porter said the haters actually prove the website is necessary and will serve its purpose – once it gets better security in place.

“I think there are some people that are threatened by freedom of speech,” she said. “People are used to the silencing of all dissent. That’s not what this country is founded on.”
[…]
Porter said she hopes ReaganBook will “tear down walls of tyranny” she claims are preventing conservative views from being shared and create a community that will follow in President Reagan’s footsteps in fighting injustice.

“ReaganBook is putting freedom on the offensive,” she said.

So they’ll “tear down walls of tyranny” and “[put] freedom on the offensive” … once they figure out how to silence dissent. Got it. Like most conservatives, they stand for the freedom to be just like me.

Good day and good nuts

(Tip of the tail to Talking Points Memo.)