“I’m going to chop her into little pieces and feed her to piranha,” Jane grumbled.
“I know you’re writing a horror novel,” Tammy said, “but that’s kinda gross.” (More)
Midday Matinee is our people watching, people doing and people being feature. Join the Woodland Creatures for an afternoon break.
Welcome back to Tuesday’s Tale, a weekly feature where we collaborate to write a story. Previous Tuesday’s Tales include Severe Chocolate Event and Zeta Reticu-squatch. We follow the basic rules of the “Yes, And” improvisational game – accept everything written so far as part of the story, and add your own paragraph (or so) where the last addition left off – except you needn’t begin your addition with “Yes, and.” I’ll start the story….
“I’m not working on that book,” Jane said. “I’m looking at the edit for my sexy space fantasy.”
Tammy smiled. “I liked that one. The scene where the he tried to recover her lost memories from the black hole emissions was so touching.”
“Yeah,” Jane said, “well the editor said that scene needed more sensuality. Was she supposed to welcome his turgid manhood into the essence of her femininity while he’s trying to operate the Hawking Quantum Holographic Decoder?”
“Wait, I’m confused,” Tammy said. “Are there piranha in black holes?”
Jane shook her head. “That wasn’t in the story. That’s what I want to do to this editor. Or maybe I’ll run her through a wood chipper, like in that movie.”
Ron bounced into the room behind his soccer ball. “Hey moms. Can I turn on the World Cup now?”
“You might want to wait, hon,” Tammy said. “Your other mom is thinking up evil ways to kill someone.”
“For the horror novel?” Ron asked.
“My editor,” Jane said.
“Oh,” Ron said. “She didn’t like it?”
“She said she loved it,” Jane said. “But she wants Ellen to screw Falron while he’s trying to run the Hawking Quantum Holographic Decoder.”
“But if he gets that wrong he could blow up the universe,” Ron said.
Tammy nodded. “Hence the wood chipper and the piranha.”
Ron shrugged. “Maybe stuff her in the black hole?”
“I can’t,” Jane said. “Her stupidity exceeds its event horizon.”