Professor Plum strode into the mail room wearing a Boston Bruins t-shirt over a Detroit Red Wings sweater. He read the mail. (More)

Ms. Scarlet took Professor Plum’s hand and they left to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor all but declared he had a pair of Aces by calling the big blind and reraising Chef’s opening raise. He tried to be crafty by checking when the flop brought the Ace and Six of Diamonds and the Ten of Clubs. Chef didn’t bite and checked behind him. The Seven of Hearts fell on the turn. This time the Professor of Astrology Janitor bet and, to his surprise, Chef called. The river brought the King of Spades. The Professor of Astrology Janitor checked and Chef offered a pot-sized bet.

He doubted Chef would have called his opening call-reraise gambit with only a Queen-Jack or Nine-Eight, either of which would give her a straight to beat his three-of-a-kind. In fact, he could think of only one hand that Chef would have played this way. He folded his pair of Tens. “It’s harder to bluff when I was dealt the hand you’re pretending to have,” she said as she turned over her Aces.

The Professor of Astrology Janitor began his plaintive mewling and Chef went to the kitchen to make Claudia Kiss’ Toast to the Flag, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Cliven Bundy’s comments are beyond repugnant. They are beyond despicable to me. They’re beyond ignorant to me, and my level of anger is about go back and listen to Democrats. Every election year they want to say Republicans what? Conservatives what? That conservatives are racists. Conservatives hate women. Conservatives want old people to die. Granny over the cliff. They want young people to fend for themselves. They want to poison the air. Poison the water, so people that for right reasons saw this case as government overreach, now are like branded because of the ignorant, racist, repugnant, despicable comments of Cliven Bundy.

Sean in NY

Dear Sean,

We agree that Cliven Bundy’s comments were repugnant, despicable, and ignorant. On the other hand, we question your implicit argument that you were duped into supporting him and thus being tarred with the same brush. We suggest your first hint that Bundy was a less-than-ideal conservative should have come when you learned he was demanding free food for his cows from the federal government. You might have questioned his patriotism when he said “I don’t recognize the United States government as even existing.” You might have questioned his heroism when a Bundy ally revealed the plan to use their women as human shields if shooting broke out. Yet you and others on the right remained faithful, praising Bundy as a “conservative,” a “patriot,” and a “hero” … until he exposed his racism.

Were we of a conspiratorial bent, we might wonder if Cliven Bundy is a false flag provocateur whose true intent was to undermine conservatism. But we do not entertain such fantasies. Rather, we wonder why you and others on the right are so consistently surprised – and then so consistently claim to be victims – when your manufactured icons turn out to be raving loons.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Who is Claudia Kiss and what is her Toast to the Flag?

Kissing Up for Breakfast in Blogistan

Dear Kissing Up,

Claudia Kiss is a lifestyle blogger at Celebrations.com, and offered a delightful July 4th recipe that Chef has renamed “Toast to the Flag.” It’s made with toast, cream cheese, strawberry jam, bananas, and blueberries. The finished recipe looks like this:

Bon appétit!

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Sources:

Sean in NY; free food for his cows; doesn’t recognize U.S. government as existing; plan to use women as human shields.

Claudia Kiss; Toast to the Flag.

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Happy Sunday!